A brain scan is interesting - and expensive!
I have been having trouble lately with basic tasks. I am finding it frustrating to do simple things like putting on clothing, for example. Part of this is tendinitis, as I have a detached and "popped" right bicep due to the use of Avalox/Cipro - a powerful antibiotic that may have saved my life, but had some painful side effects. I went to a physical therapist and she quickly noted that the upper tendon of this bicep is also fucked up - it jumps the track, so to speak and hurts like hell. Whether there is a fix for this remains to be seen. At best, it seems my right arm will always lose 15% of its strength compared to the left.
But it was more than physical issues. I find myself shuffling as I walk, which is disturbing. I have to consciously think about how I walk, saying to myself, "one foot in front of the other, stop leaning forward like Trump!" Mark used to nag me to slow down on our walks, as I walked too fast. Now he chides me for being a slow-poke! Aging sucks!
There are other issues as well. I've developed a drinking problem - I have to think about drinking a glass of water, otherwise I tip the glass a few inches from my mouth and end up with a lap full of water. WTF is that all about? And recently, I have woken up from dreams to find myself thrashing about or talking in my sleep - apparently two possible signs of incipient dementia. It is interesting, but apparently during REM sleep, your brain paralyzes your body, which is, I guess, why people have dreams of being attacked by monsters and try to run away, but report feeling like they are in slow-motion. In some Alzheimer's patients, apparently this paralyzing function doesn't occur and they get violent or start shouting in their sleep.
There are other things as well - loss of short-term memory, forgetting things, going into a room and forgetting why I was going there - etc. I was chalking it up to "long covid" issues and indeed that might very well be the case. My new doctor was alarmed by the shuffling thing, as that is an indicator of possible neurological problems, so he suggested an MRI.
Well, the results are back and it isn't all that great - or all that bad. Apparently there are "white spots" on the scan which may indicate a minor stroke in the past - or perhaps a post-covid effect. I was more concerned about the enlarged lateral ventricles which look like a large hole in my head. My critics are vindicated. I will go see a neurologist to see whether this is all "normal" or just "old age."
(Note: the larger left posterior horn would seem to confirm that I am right-handed).
It is weird, however, seeing a picture of your brain. It is an organ, like any other, yet we tend to think of the brain as "us" - the seat of our consciousness. Yet it can be damaged and die - like any other organ. Of course, if it dies, we die with it.
I am hoping it is nothing major and just a part of the aging process. I don't want this blog to turn into some sort of Flowers for Algernon kind of bullshit.
We'll see!