The Fat Trap - Feeding Off Your Low Self-Esteem

Obesity is an epidemic in the United States.  It also is a business model.  A lot of people are making a lot of money off the misery of others.

Obesity is an epidemic in the United States. It has become a major health problem, ironically among the poor, who have literally too much to eat. And more and more, we are seeing morbidly obese folks, weighing 300, 400 pounds or more - riding around in little electric scooters. It is a very sad situation. However, that is not what this article is all about. The Fat Trap is a technique that marketers use to make people feel bad about themselves, in order to make them spend money. And while weight is one aspect of it, the marketers use many other criteria to make you feel bad about yourself and get you to spend.

Many of these marketing techniques are targeted towards women, although men are just as vulnerable. I visited a friend the other day. She is hardly obese, to say the least. But when I told her she was looking well (which she was) her reply was "Oh, I'm so FAT, I need to lose weight!" I have heard this comment from various people, some who are overweight, some who maybe have a couple of extra pounds, some who are at an ideal body weight, and even from people who are dangerously thin.

What is up with America's obsession with weight? Like much else in our society, none of this occurs by accident, but rather by design. Using low self-esteem to manipulate and control populations is not a new trick. For eons, mankind has used these techniques to keep populations in line. Dividing people along race, class, and other lines, and programming people to feel they are "inferior" is an easy way to manipulate people.

Psychological experiments along this line have shown that once people are told they are an inferior class, they will behave in a manner that fulfills these expectations. Students told, in an experiment, that they are prisoners, tend to act like, well, prisoners. Young students with brown eyes who are told, in an experiment, that they are inferior to students with blue eyes and will not only believe, but act in a manner consistent with the expectations. So, it is an easy task to program people to believe that they are less than whole or even less than human, if you can train them with the correct set of expectations.

It is no longer acceptable in America to teach people they are inferior based on race, religion, or even class. So appearance is the new discriminator, and an easy way to keep consumers in line and get them to spend money on things they really don't need.

America's obsession with weight developed in the late 1950's and early 1960's. Watching older movies, it is interesting to note that many actors and actresses were fairly heavy. Even actors and actresses who were not "fat" by any means, were fairly plump and ill-defined. The handsome leading men of the era did not have the gym-rat bodies and rippling abs we expect today of any action hero. Rather, most had slab-sided stomachs and little muscle definition. Think of Captain Kirk on Star Trek, for example.

Perhaps it was the youth culture of the 1960's that changed all that. Suddenly, "thin is in!" and dieting took hold as a mania, particularly among young women. The diet plate special (a scoop of cottage cheese and a hamburger without a bun, don't ask me why) and cyclamate-sweetened soft drinks like "Tab" became popular. I vividly remember my sister, who was hardly overweight, obsessing about being thin at the time. If a girl wanted to be "popular with the boys" she had to lose weight. Of course, there has always been one way for girls to be popular with the boys, and that has never changed. But for some reason, it was touted that being thin would not only get a young woman a date, but also help her snare a husband.

But is appearance a proper basis for a lifelong mate selection? Since that time, the norms for body types foisted on the American public have changed dramatically. The muscular gym-body, for both men and women, has become popular. For runway models, the anorexic thin "waif" look was touted. Ironically, this trend of pushing extreme body styles as a new "norm" took place at the same time that Americans became increasingly obese. In other words, our stars and celebrities were becoming thinner and thinner as we became fatter and fatter.

In a way, this sort of further divided the celebrity population from "the rest of us." With plastic surgery, cosmetic dentistry, a personal trainer and a diet plan, they could transform themselves into caricatures of human beings - caricatures that ordinary folks could never approach. Michael Jackson was probably an example of this trend taken to an extreme. Even the few "fat" celebrities end up on this "thin" bandwagon, as they "struggle with their weight gain" and end up endorsing a weight loss product after losing dramatic amounts. If anything, the "fatties" in Hollywood are worse than the thin ones, as they endorse the entire negative-self-image concept even further.

Of course, for many celebrities, particularly comedians, the height of hilarity these days is to do a movie wearing a "fat suit", as though looking like their audience members is some sort of joke. It is an interesting message when a thin celebrity puts on a fat suit.

It doesn't end with body weight. Facial wrinkles can be erased with the innocuously named "BoTox" (would you inject yourself with "Botulism Toxin" if it didn't have a cute name?) and teeth can be straightened and whitened with dental techniques. Facial features can be nipped and tucked. Nothing natural should be left alone. And the problem is, many people buy into this entire charade, lock stock, and barrel.

While in the past, we would age gracefully, today we are expected to chase perpetual youth. And not surprisingly, an entire industry is ready and waiting to feed on your low self-esteem, with various quack "cures" for your alleged defects. The internet is probably the worst purveyor of these, although I suspect television probably promotes them as well. Not a day goes by that I don't see a banner ad promoting a wrinkle removal cream or some form of tooth whitener "invented by a Mom!" (Apparently, Mom-invented things are somehow better for you, I guess).

There is a huge industry devoted to legitimate and crooked weight loss schemes. We are told we can lose weight if we buy all our food from Jenny Craig, or attend weight watchers. Or just cut to the chase and have the fat sucked out with a machine on an operating table. Or try one of the various herbal "fat burner" remedies which are not regulated by the FDA. All you need to do is spend a little money. Or a lot.

You can get those gym abs by buying an exercise machine, or some sort of gadget or gizmo. The "abdominizer" will turn you from festering blob to movie star in mere weeks, with little or no effort on your part. Call now, operators are standing by! Of course, most of these "cures" don't work. The wrinkles come back, whitened teeth do not make you sexier, and the exercise or diet regimen is quickly dropped in favor of another bag of fast-food and a donut. The consumer then feels worse about themselves, which feeds further into the cycle of low-self-esteem. "I'm ugly!" they think, "and I'm no good!" 

Low self-esteem then primes the pump for another round of consumer spending. Low-self-esteem promotes passivity and also low expectations. If you believe your are worthless, then you tend to accept a lot more crap - after all, isn't that what you deserve?

Why are people obsessed with appearances in our society (but rarely with substance?) Again, it is to control and manipulate the population. Many folks are convinced they need to alter their appearance to attract friends or a mate. But many folks reject friends and mates based on appearance - convinced that they can "do better" with a hotter "trophy wife" the next time around. No wonder the divorce rate is skyrocketing! So, rather than forming meaningful relationships that last a lifetime, and growing old together, cherishing each wrinkle and grey hair as a badge of honor, we are encouraged to dump our spouses for something new and younger (appearing) on the premise that love (and sex) are better when you are "thin".

Frankly, thin people are the most miserable folks I know. The kinds of people who obsess about their appearance and the appearance of their mates tend to have a number of superficial, short-term relationships, based largely on physical attraction and the premise of hot sex. But in reality, the sex is rarely any good, and the physical attraction wanes quickly, and they are once again "back on the market" looking for the perfect mate again.

Avoiding the Fat Trap is difficult for many Americans, as they receive most of their normative cues from television, which heavily promotes the low-self-esteem agenda. For example, take most morning news shows, which are largely aimed at women. Usually at least once a week, if not once a day, there is a segment on losing weight, usually featuring some new diet plan or book you can buy. Teary-eyed testimonials are given by the formerly fat, about how miserable they were, with their previous "condition" talked about in hushed tones, as if being 20 pounds overweight was akin to having cancer. It is very subtle how these social cues are promoted, and while it is intentional, it is not part of some grand plan or conspiracy.

Marketers are well aware that you can use low-self-esteem issues to sell everything from toothpaste (with whitener!) to automobiles (to make you look sexier!). People who are well adjusted and feel good about themselves, well, you can't sell them anything! So the first step toward finding your own internal happiness (and spending less money on worthless JUNK) is to TURN OFF THE TELEVISION. Television teaches you conflicting messages. Television says to be thin. Television says to eat a Big Mac. You can't do both.

The second step is to accept yourself for what you are, and realize that you have a limited lifespan, so you might as well get used to the body you are living in. If you have been overweight most of your life, chances are the best you can hope for is to lose some weight and be healthier. You cannot expect to end up looking like Kate Moss or Arnold Schwarzenegger (the old Arnold, not the new fat one). Accept who you are and then have realistic expectations about what you can change.

The third step is to change your lifestyle. As we get older, our diets should change, but few people change their diets. Most of us eat like growing teenagers, wolfing down hamburgers and french fries. As we get older, we need less of that sort of food and more roughage. You don't need to eat frozen "diet" entrees out of a box to lose weight. But a thing called the GREEN VEGETABLE might help, along with portion controls.

Similarly, you don't need to join a gym or buy a machine to get exercise. Walking is one of the best exercises you can do, and it is cheap and free. Yet our modern lifestyle, where we drive to every destination (even the gym) and sit for hours behind a computer screen, is an anathema to basic exercise. As I have noted before, you don't see a lot of fat people in Manhattan, simply because they walk more. 

Feel good about yourself. Be kind to yourself. Happiness is something you have to find inside, not externally. One secret to reducing stress and being happy is to not let external things dictate your emotional state of being. Once you jump off the low-self-esteem bandwagon, you can make more rational decisions about your life and take control of your life.

The Gun Trap - do you really need one?

The Gun Trap - do you really need one?

With the election of President Obama, gun and ammunition sales have skyrocketed in the USA. To some extent, this is a reaction to perceived fears by some right-wing folks that the country will be reduced to anarchy soon. But in reality, this is more of a typical hoarding reaction that occurs when people believe a commodity is going to become scarce.

When commodities are scarce, or people believe they are scarce or will become scarce, then hoarding occurs. At the time of this writing, in Argentina, people are hoarding coins, on the belief that there is a change shortage. Since everyone is hoarding coinage, the feared change shortage has become a real change shortage. That's how these hoarding things work.

For guns and ammunition, the fear is that a Democratically controlled House and Senate, as well as White House, will pass legislation making it harder to obtain guns and ammunition. So, the theory goes, you'd better stock up now, before it is too late!

So many folks who do not own guns are buying guns and ammunition. Folks who already own guns are buying more - often on the advice of groups with ties to the firearms industry. It will probably take a year or two for the hysteria to die down. But in the meantime, sales are brisk.

Do you need to own a gun? It is a complicated question. For hunters, security officers, police, farmers, and the like, the question is fairly simple. Handguns and Rifles are tools of the trade, and you buy them out of necessity. But for the average homeowner, is a handgun really necessary? Moreover, is an expensive arsenal of weapons really necessary?

Some handgun proponents argue that owning a handgun will make you "safer" - that you can stop a violent crime in progress if you own a handgun, or shoot a burglar as he enters your home. This is great in theory, but in practice, it does not always work out, as we will see.

I am not pro- or anti- handgun. The rhetoric on both sides of that debate is far overheated (see my article "They BAITING You!") However, you should think about a handgun purchase carefully, lest it be a financially losing proposition.

Hoarding guns and ammunition is probably a bad idea. Like gold, people tend to buy when times are perceived as "bad" and as a result, pay the highest prices imaginable. When times are "good" they sell, and get a much lower price. Buying High and Selling Low is the worst thing you can do to your portfolio.

1. The Parachute Theory

Handguns are one of those items that you would wish you'd have if you really needed it at a particular moment. That is the logic behind handgun ownership. If you are confronted with a burglar, you'd wish you had a handgun! But then again, if you fall off the edge of the Grand Canyon, you'd surely wish you had a parachute, too.

Is buying a parachute (and wearing it at all times) a good idea to prevent a dangerous fall from high places? The question is not as ridiculous as it seems, as the odds of being confronted with a life-and-death situation with a criminal are about the same as you falling from a high place. And the parallels don't end there, either. Carrying a loaded handgun is very inconvenient - as it wearing a parachute all the time. Handguns are expensive - and so are parachutes. And even if you own a handgun, if you don't have it at hand when you need it, it is the same as not having it at all, which also holds true for parachutes. And finally, a handgun misused can be more dangerous to its owner than anyone else - as can a parachute (if you pull the ripcord while on your motorcycle, for example).

So yes, having a handgun could make you "safer", but so could wearing a parachute at all times, or a helmet for that matter. But the odds are very long against your ever needing any of these items. In short, buying a handgun for "protection" is not really a cost-effective proposition. Buying a plethora of handguns, rifles, and assault weapons is even a less sound.

2. Crime Attractant

One of the most desirable objects for criminals to steal are, ironically, handguns. When breaking into a home, a criminal is looking for items than can be quickly and easily resold at a profit. Home electronics are bulky and hard to move. And while your stereo system and flat-screen television may represent a few thousand dollars in purchase price, as used components they would fetch only hundreds in the legitimate market, and likely far less in the black market for stolen goods. In short, a stolen flat screen television worth $1000 new will fetch only $100 or so to the thief, and be hard to carry and conceal.

Money, Jewelry and guns are far better hauls for the average burglar. Money is probably the one of the best things to steal, as it is worth what its face value states and it does not have to be fenced. It is also virtually untraceable. Jewelry is a good second choice, as it can be fairly valuable and easy to conceal and carry, and yields a fairly good price in the stolen goods market.

But handguns are the one item that may be worth MORE to a thief than to you. Since handguns are getting harder to buy, and since crooks do not want to leave paper-trails when buying handguns, the stolen handgun is a highly desirable item. A handgun worth $500 in the gun store may yield $1000 on the street to a gang member looking for an untraceable weapon.

Thus, the ultimate irony of handgun ownership - you buy guns to protect yourself and unwittingly make yourself a target for thieves. Since most folks work during the day, it is a fairly simple matter to burglarize your home by showing up in a delivery van, wearing coveralls, and quickly enter, take your guns, and leave. Alarm systems can be easily disabled by cutting phone lines. And since most suburban areas are deserted during the day, the chances of getting caught are nil.

How does a burglar pick out your home? Again, the irony is that most handgun owners plaster their homes with signs advertising their gun ownership, as if it is a deterrent to crime, when it is actually an attractant. NRA stickers, and "beware of owner" signs only serve to advertise to potential thieves that there is booty here to be had.

If you do own a gun, don't advertise! Signs saying "beware of owner" may be macho and all, but do little to deter crime and may actually attract it. If you are prone to posting such signs, ask yourself seriously whether you are buying guns to protect yourself, or to cover up some deep underlying insecurity. Who are you trying to impress?

3. Shot With His Own Gun

Another problem with handgun ownership is that you have to know how to use a handgun and be prepared to use it properly. In the movies and on television, it is common to see a criminal or a police officer pull out a gun and wave it around. In these fictional scenarios, people cower at the sight of a handgun and the person waving the gun around often "saves the day" by saying silly things like "hold it right there!"

In reality, you should only pull a handgun out if you intend to shoot someone. There should be no waving or grand gestures involved. Take out your gun, aim carefully, and shoot to kill. Period.

This may sound harsh, but it is the only way you can effectively use a handgun. Waving guns around can be ineffectual and dangerous, as the opponent may also be armed, and while you are making grand gestures, he's plugging you in the skull. So you have to draw, aim, and shoot. That's all there is to it.

Of course, this means you can only use a handgun in situations where deadly violence is justified. If someone is vandalizing your car, are you justified in shooting them? Suppose someone enters your house late at night? Should you shoot them? Suppose you could just duck out the back door? Is the loss of your possessions worth the loss of your life? I don't have the answer. But you should, if you are prepared to carry a gun.

A friend of mine at the Patent Office suffered from this delusion that waving a handgun around would be an effective deterrent to crime. To save money, he parked in a very bad part of town and then walked to work, carrying a concealed pistol in his jacket. For the cost of the pistol, he could have paid for a parking space at work for several years. Plus, by bringing the gun to work, he was violating Federal Law.

The inevitable happened one night as he walked home in the dark, down an unlit alley in a very bad part of town. Two teenage boys spotted him and decided to give him a hard time and perhaps shake him down for money. The confronted him and he pulled out his handgun and started waving it around.

A funny thing happened. The kids didn't run away like in the movies. Hardened street kids, they had seen guns before, and they realized that my friend had no idea what he was doing. One distracted him momentarily while the other managed to get the gun away from him. They shot him with his own gun. Dead.

The same thing can happen in a home burglary situation. In a recent article in Reader's Digest, for example, a homeowner related how he confronted a methamphetamine addict trying to burglarize his home. Not wanting to use deadly force, he tried the "wave the gun around" technique, only to have the hyped-up meth-head wrestle him for the gun, win, and keep his family hostage for several harrowing hours. They survived, but learned a valuable lesson about handgun use.

4. Shot the Spouse

America has more handgun deaths per capita than any other country on the earth. And more than half of these are either suicides, family disputes. or accidents. People get drunk, they get angry, they get depressed, and someone reaches for a gun and its all over. And every year, tragically, young children decide to "play with Daddy's gun" with predicable results.Gun proponents would argue that "Guns don't kill people, people kill people" and of course, that is true.

But a gun produces a very sudden and violent death. You attack your spouse with a knife, at least there is a chance she can duck or run away - leave the house, find a neighbor, call the police. But a bullet travels at many times the speed of sound. You can't duck a bullet (like they do on television). It is a decision that can be made instantaneously and permanently.

There are also accidental shooting scenarios as well. One friend of mine, who owned a small arsenal of weapons on the premise that "Negros" were going to invade his suburban home, almost accidentally shot his roommate late one night when he returned home and forgot to deactivate the alarm. My friend rolled down the stairs and assumed a three-point stance with his loaded .45, aiming right at the head of the "intruder." Fortunately for both of them, he figured out at the last minute not to shoot. Others are not so lucky.

For example, a friend of mine kept a loaded .357 Magnum in his nightstand.   He's in the hospital, now, recovering from a gunshot wound to the head.   It is a life-changing event, and one that wouldn't have happened if he never bought that gun.   And for the life of me, I cannot figure out what he needed "protection" from.

So if you own a handgun, you'd better have a safe, locked place to keep it. But if you put it in a safe, then how do you get at it when the meth-heads break in? Again, this is another conundrum of handgun ownership - keeping a weapon easily at hand, but also keeping it safe.

5. Difficulties Carrying Firearms

Another friend of mine described the difficulties of carrying firearms. Like a parachute, a firearm is of no use to you if it is in a locked box at home while you are being mugged on the street. Unless you carry it at all times, it is of little use when you need it.

Recently, laws have been relaxed to allow more people to carry concealed weapons on their person. However there are still many restrictions on when and where you can carry a gun, making carrying a weapon a dicey proposition.

Heading to the courthouse, the motor vehicle department or any other government building? Better leave your weapon at home, or leave it in your car. Picking the kids up at school? Can't bring your gun in there, either. Many stores, malls, and other retail and public places are banning the carrying of concealed weapons. Many State and Federal Parks are limit who can carry a weapon and where.

There is such a patchwork of laws and regulations, my friend told me, that he ended up taking his gun on and off several times a day.

And locking your gun in your car is a dodgy proposition as well. Someone could break into the car and steal your gun - or just steal the car. Your weapon will likely then be used to commit the very crimes you are trying to protect yourself against.

6. Alternatives

There are, of course, some alternative actions you can take that can make you safer. And of course, you can take such actions AND own a handgun as well.

First of all, avoid high crime areas. My friend at the Patent Office intentionally went into a very bad part of town, late at night, to save a few dollars on parking. I am not entirely sure he wasn't doing this to provoke an incident, such as in the movie "Falling Down" or "Dirty Harry" - that he was secretly hoping to say "make my day" to some criminal. He was an odd fellow.

Similarly, intentionally living in a bad neighborhood "because it is cheaper" and then owning a lot of expensive consumer goods - on the premise that you'll protect them with your firearms, is not a sound proposition either. But I've had friends (acquaintances, really) do this. I think you are better off living in a wealthier, lower crime area and owning less consumer junk, frankly. Your house will appreciate faster in a lower crime area, and probably there will be better schools as well.

Of course, being alert to your surroundings and not letting yourself become a victim is important as well. If you walk down the street and see someone is following you, cross the street. Head toward a well-lit area. Take a taxi, even if it is only a few blocks, if you are alone late at night. Taking active steps to protect yourself will probably do more to increase your safety than carrying a handgun. But you can, of course, do both. Perhaps that is the irony of gun ownership. Like with airbags, people with guns take more risks.

And of course, it never hurts to run like hell. At college once, I was assaulted by a group of thugs looking to rob a student. My friend who was with me was paralyzed and stood there motionless. I nearly had to carry him as we ran toward the commercial district. The bad guys gave chase for a block or so, but quickly decided that there were easier pickings out there. The only reason we ended up in that situation to begin with was that my friend recommended a dodgy "shortcut" to his apartment, late at night. Lesson Learned!

7. How Many Guns Do You Need?

Yes, you can make a logical argument for the need for a firearm for self protection. Here in the country, we do get rabid animals (Raccoons) on occasion, and the only way to dispatch them is with some sort of weapon.

But many folks, such as my friend who nearly shot his roommate, end up buying several firearms. While this may be considered a "hobby" it can quickly become and expensive one. Handguns - at least good ones - are expensive to buy and ammunition can be pricey as well. One friend of mine bought a smaller gun for target practice simply because he tired of going through $50 of ammunition each time he went to the range ($50 is a LOT of money in my book!).

Many folks caught up in the recent wave of gun buying are spending thousands and even tens of thousands of dollars on weapons and ammunition. One survivalist told me he bought 10,000 rounds of ammo, and thinks that maybe he might need 60,000 rounds. I am not sure if he is planning on starting a civil war or what.

But what I suspect will happen, once all the hysteria dies down, is that he will realize that he maxed out his credit cards on a consumer good that he will likely never use. Worse yet, since so many guns will be on the market at that point, he will be lucky to get 50 cents on the dollar on his purchases when he decides to unload his arsenal.

The gun manufacturers are laughing - all the way to the bank.

Handguns generally require permits and waiting periods to purchase. There are alternatives, such as shotguns and rifles, which may require little or no paperwork to purchase and can be bought at any discount store. For home protection, where the range of fire is measured in feet, not yards, a shotgun may be a better choice, as it will tend to hit any target in the general direction it is aimed at. A short barreled shotgun might be an easier and less expensive alternative to an expensive handgun.

Cheap handguns are never a good investment, as they do not hold their value and some can be outright dangerous. A well-made handgun, at least, will hold its value over time, if well maintained.

But before you run out and buy a handgun because of all the hoopla in the news lately, think carefully whether you are really making yourself safer, or just buying an expensive consumer good that you will never need or use - and one that, not handled properly, could make you less safe as well.

The Jet Ski Trap

Jet skis lose their allure rather rapidly.

I pick on Jet Skis as sort of the epitome of silly purchases that end up squandering a lot of hard earned money. While I use them as an easy example, other types of purchases could fall along similar lines. Speed boats, "crotch rocket" motorcycles, snowmobiles, and ATVs come to mind as similar wasteful purchases. What these scenarios have in common is:

1. A seasonal or hobby item that is not really necessary to daily living.

2. An item financed (usually at a high interest rate) with "E-Z Monthly Payments"

3. An item that depreciates dramatically.

4. An item that loses its allure rather quickly.

5. An item that needs constant maintenance that the owner cannot provide.

Let's see how these aspects combine and collide in an all-too-typical example of the Jet Ski purchase.

Jeff (who is a real person, by the way, names changed to protect the innocent) is a well-off middle class suburban dweller. He is married and he and his wife have decent incomes working in office environments. While Jeff is very skilled in his narrow field of interest, he literally cannot change a light bulb without cross-threading it half the time.

On vacation, he rents a Jet ski for an hour, and on the ocean in front of the resort he is staying at, it seems like a lot of fun - jumping the waves in the hot summer sun. All too soon the hour is over, leaving him wanting more. If he had just rented for that second hour, he probably would have gotten Jet Skiing out of his system, as he realized that there is not a lot more to do, other than what he already had been doing.

On return from vacation, Jeff proposes to Marsha, his wife, that they buy Jet Skis. He's seen the ads in the paper, and for what he paid for an HOUR to rent a Jet Ski, he could make a monthly payment on one!

They set off to visit the Jet Ski dealer. Jeff did not do any research first, comparing prices and features and also figuring out what these things were worth.  He also did not research the price of used Jet Skis in the local classifieds or boattrader.com

The Jet Ski dealer was all too happy to see them on a busy weekend.  Jeff was immediately drawn to a display of two jet skis on a trailer in the middle of the showroom.  A large sign proclaims "Low monthly price! As low as $199 a month!**". This sounds too good to be true, and as Jeff will later learn, it is.

Of course, that was the price for only one Jet Ski. The monthly payment for two was twice that. And of course, the Jet Skis will need a trailer, which the dealer is happy to sell them. Lightweight Jet Ski trailers cost only a few hundred dollars to make.  But to Jeff, who has no idea what things cost, spending $2000 on a trailer seems like a reasonable proposition, as does spending $10,000 on a Jet Ski. Jeff and Martha leave the showroom having spent as much as, if not more than, they would have on a new car.

Of course, the Jet Skis will need to be registered and insured, and Jeff is shocked to realize that insurance is rather high for these items. He also has to take his car in to have a hitch installed and trailer light wiring installed. But within a week, all the loan paperwork is done and Jeff is pleased to go pick up his Jet Skis and head off for a weekend adventure! No mere hour-long rental, but a weekend full of Jet Skiing fun!

Jeff and Martha head over to the local lake and discover there is a long line to launch their Jet Skis on a Saturday morning. They finally get the Jet Skis in the water and after some initial messing around, take off from the dock. Other boaters angrily wave at them as they fly out of the launching area, oblivious to the no wake zone signs and roped swimming area.

Jeff and Martha discover the first negative about Jet Skis - other boaters hate them. Local landowners are annoyed by their loud buzzing sounds, and traditional boaters annoyed by their erratic unskilled and often unsafe drivers.

With a simple twist of the throttle, Jeff is now doing close to 70 mph on the water - a fairly staggering speed, considering most boats travel only 30 mph or so. He suddenly realizes that he is on a collision course with a bass boat. Panicked, he lets go of the throttle and tries to turn. With a horrible sinking feeling and pit in his stomach, Jeff realizes that the Jet Ski is still headed straight for the bass boat. Jeff discovers another problem with Jet Skis - when you release the throttle, they lose all directional control.

Fortunately for Jeff, the bass boat driver, having seen this scenario before, takes evasive action and avoids a deadly collision. Jeff is lucky. Every year, thousands of other Jet Skiers are not so lucky, and are either killed or maimed in such collisions. It is small wonder that insurance on these seasonal items can be so high.

Jeff learns his lesson and slows down and learns to take evasive action before coming close to boats or objects in the water - or land. He and Martha head off to an area where there are no boats and try out the new Jet Skis. They turn left and make circles. They turn right and make circles. They turn left. They turn right. Jeff comes to the realization that this wasn't as much fun as he thought. They have been on the water for only a half-hour, have pissed off all the other boaters in the area, and basically are having no fun.

There are no waves to jump, Jeff thinks, and after watching some other Jet Skiers, decide to find some boat wakes to jump. they follow a cabin cruiser throwing up a good wake and try to jump it. However, the jet skis do little more than bump over the two-foot wake and the boat's captain gives them an angry glance as they ride too close to his boat.

They ride some more. There has to be some fun in this, Jeff thinks, remembering the time at the resort. Or has he really "been there, done that" already? Having spend over twenty thousand dollars on these Jet Skis, he gets a sinking feeling, and thinks about the 59 months of payments ahead of them.

Martha sees an isolated section of water across the lake and suggests they head over there. They gun their engines and floor it across the lake, throwing up rooster tails. When they arrive, Jeff feels that maybe they have found the "fun" part, doing S-turns among the reeds in the shallow water and watching flocks of geese take flight ahead of their Jet Skis. But suddenly, Jeff's Jet ski sounds an alarm and slows down. The grasses have wound around the impeller and stalled the engine.

Martha pulls along side and Jeff looks under the seat, mystified as to how to correct the problem. Soon another boat arrives and Jeff is optimistic that help is on the way. Unfortunately, the boat is the local Environmental Conservation Sheriff, and Martha and Jeff are ticketed for riding their jet skis through a bird sanctuary and also violating wake zone rules. "I've had a number of complaints about you two" the Sheriff says, handing them the tickets. Jeff explains that they just bought the Jet Skis and the Sheriff shakes his head. He's seen this scenario many times before.

Using a short rope, Martha tows Jeff's Jet ski back across the lake. While it took them only minutes to get across under power, towing takes nearly an hour, as every time Martha tries to accelerate, Jeff's ski starts to swamp.

They get the Jet Skis on the trailer and leave, sitting in silence in the car on the way home. "Maybe next time will be better," Jeff says.

And it is, of course. They get the impeller unclogged at the dealer and Jeff learns a few basic maintenance procedures, like how to add oil to the oil injection system. The dealer is in no hurry to educate Jeff, because each costly mistake Jeff makes, out of ignorance, is another profitable transaction for the dealer.

They try other lakes and rivers and, having learned not to annoy other boaters and how to read the various signs and buoys, largely stay out of trouble. They take the Jet Skis to the beach and run them in the ocean water, which brings back a lot of the fun from their vacation. But still, it is not the continuous orgasm than Jeff expected, just a series of chores and tasks to get ready to go and to return - packing and unpacking equipment, food, beverages, and the like.

Unfortunately, Jeff hasn't learned half of the chores he needs to do. On the way back from one beach adventure, he is appalled when a wheel rolls by his car window - a wheel from his Jet Ski Trailer. It bounces across the median and narrowly misses an oncoming car. Jeff is lucky. Many more are not. Such wheels can pass through a windshield and kill an oncoming driver - it happens every year. Regular maintenance on a trailer is essential, and Jeff hasn't even washed his trailer since buying it.

Pulling off the road in a shower of sparks, he realizes that the wheel has fallen off his trailer. Having no spare, he leaves the now-crippled trailer by the side of the road and sets off to find a replacement wheel.

However, it is Sunday, and most of the stores are closed. Not knowing the wheel and tire size anyway, he has no idea what tire to get. He finally calls a tow truck to come out and pick up the trailer. Even if he had a spare, it wouldn't have made a difference. Since Jeff never lubricated the hubs on this trailer, the salt water attacked the bearings and cause the axle stub to shear off. Not only did Jeff need a new wheel and Tire, he needed a new axle as well. This scenario plays out with predictable regularity on the roadways of the USA. On any given Sunday, you'll find at least one similarly crippled Jet Ski trailer on the side of any Interstate Highway.

Since the trailer is not covered by his roadside assistance, he has a hefty $400 towing bill to pay, as well as the repairs to the trailer. Jeff is discouraged. Maybe they should sell the Jet Skis. After owning them a year, he goes online to see what he can get for them.

Jeff is shocked. He checks the local classifieds, the local boattrader.com, and the NADA used boat values. The retail value for his Jet Skis is thousands less than he owes on the loan. He calls the dealer he bought them from. The dealer is all too willing to take them back - as a trade-in on a newer, more expensive model, provided the deficit in the payoff is folded back into a higher interest "negative equity" loan on the newer models.

If Jeff wants to sell his Jet Skis, he'll have to PAY $3000 to get rid of them. Since he lives as a "salary slave" from paycheck to paycheck, he doesn't have $3000 to pay off the deficit on the loans when he sells the Jet Skis - if he can sell them at all.

So the Jet Skis sit on the trailer in his side yard, gathering mildew and algae, while the trailer tires go flat. Martha has lost interest in Jet Skiing, particularly now that a baby is on the way. Jeff, too, has found Jet Skiing to be less than he thought it would be.

Unfortunately, the Jet Skis continue to depreciate faster than the balance on the loan declines. Jeff and Martha make five more years of payments on this expensive mistake. Sitting in the side yard, unused, the engines languish, the vinyl upholstery fades and cracks, and all the rubber pieces start to craze and rot.

High revving two stoke engines rarely last long anyway, which is one reason Jet Skis depreciate so quickly. Few jet skis are still around that are more than five years old. You may see some brave soul with some engine fix-it experience nurse one back to life. But for the most part, they crash and burn after a relatively short life.

Jeff and Martha donate the Jet Skis to a local charity for a tax write-off once the loan is paid off. The charity sells the Jet Skis and trailer at auction. The Jet Skis are sold for parts by their new owner, who is interested only in the trailer - which he uses to haul his lawnmower, after mounting a piece of plywood to it.

What was the overall cost of this financial fiasco to Jeff and Martha? In addition to the $22,500 paid for the Jet Skis and trailer, there is the staggering $10,000 in interest payments. Throw in repairs, registration, property taxes, and the like, and you have a bill of $40,000 or more for few weekends of fun. Jeff and Martha can ill afford such waste, particularly that they now have children.

Could Jeff and Martha done anything differently to prevent such a scenario? Yes.

To begin with, they could have just said "no" to buying a Jet Ski. While renting one may seem expensive, in terms of cost per hour, it may be cheaper overall. Moreover, you are not committed to years of payments for something that might only catch your fancy for a few days or weeks.

They might also have looked at buying a real boat. For less than the cost of a jet ski, Jeff and Martha could have owned a small boat. While a Jet Ski provides you with minutes of endless fun, turning left and turning right, you can do much more with a boat. You can fish from a boat, waterskii, wakeboard, tube, camp, cruise, party, or whatever. You can invite your friends on a boat - or family members. Moreover, a regular boat depreciates more slowly than a jet ski.

They also should have looked into paying cash for such a purchase, buying the Jet Skis secondhand. Since there are so many Jet Skis out there like Jeff and Martha's, where the buyer loses interest fairly quickly, you can buy them relatively new and in good shape, for a lot less than new ones. But you have to find a seller who is not "upside down" on his loan, and since these are hard to finance if you are not going through a dealer, you generally have to pay cash.

Frankly, for such a luxury purchase as a Jet Ski, boat, RV, or whatever, it probably is a good idea to pay cash. That way, you are less at risk of being "upside down" on a loan, and can dispose of the item at any time, regardless of how badly it has depreciated.

It is better to sell a used Jet Ski for half of what you paid for it, than to make 6 years of payments and then sell it for scrap. Yet this latter scenario is played out in back yards all across America - as consumers pay off loans on RVs, Boats, Jet Skis, Motorcycles, and the like. Now that the recession has hit - and hit hard - you cannot give away luxury items like these. But it is a good time to pick one up - secondhand.

Lastly, Jeff and Martha should have taken the time to learn how to maintain such equipment. You CAN own "toys" like a Jet Ski or a motorcycle or an RV or a Boat, on a budget, provided you don't have to run off to a dealer every time it breaks. If you cannot take care of an item to prevent it from breaking, and if you cannot do basic maintenance on an item when it needs maintenance, then maybe you should re-think owning luxury items involving machinery.

Jeff and Martha learned an expensive lesson relatively early on in life. But one wonders, when you consider the educational background both Jeff and Martha have, why they would make such a costly mistake at all?

* * *

P.S. - while the plural form of Ski was, I thought, Skiis, it appears the plural of Jet Ski is Jet Skis, which makes no sense to me and sounds like it would be pronounced "Jet Skiz". "Personal Watercraft" is the generic term, but rather awkward.

UPDATE April 2015:

I got the Jet Ski thing out of my system in a day.  A friend of ours loaned us two Jet Skis in Ft. Meyers Beach, Florida, and we took them out for a day - going through the mangroves, the back channels, the beach, and into the ocean, where yes, I got one airborne with "one hand on the controls!"  But after a few hours, it was like, "Is that all there is?"   That and how scary-fast these things went (I am a boater, and respect speed on the water).  I am glad I tried it.  But no, I don't need to spend $20,000 on  a pair of them.

Daniel Tosh's famous "waverunner" bit.  We all miss your Cousin!

The MONEY Trap and the 1% Rule

The MONEY Trap - How making a lot of money can drive you bankrupt.

From a lot of people reading my blog, I get the usual reactions. "I make good money, so I don't have to worry about saving money," they say, "And $50 here, $100 there, it really isn't worth the hassle."

This blog is not directed at the dirt poor, but rather the impoverished middle class, who are often spending their way to the poorhouse. It is EXACTLY those sort of people who need to conserve their resources (as they are now belatedly finding out) and yes, $50 or $100 is "a lot of money".

Take for example, your typical young Washingtonian. They might have a job making $100,000 a year, which they consider to be a "lot" of money - the mythical "six figure income". When taken against that number, sums of $50 or $100 may seem insignificant - only a fraction of a percentage point.

However, when you consider how large such amounts are compared to disposable income, the picture becomes more focused.

For example, say our Washingtonian makes $100,000 per year. They live in an apartment or home and have a monthly rent or mortgage payment of $2000 per month. Right off the bat, $100,000 a year is reduced to $76,000 a year.

And of course, Federal and State income taxes (and social security, etc.) lop off another 35 percent easily. So now income is reduced to $41,000 per year.

Now, if our friend is playing his cards right, he should be contributing 15% of income to his 401(k) or equivalent program, which means that we now have a disposable income of $26,000 a year.

That works out to $500 a week in disposable cash. And that means $500 per week to buy groceries, make car payments, pay car insurance, pay the light bill, the cable bill, etc.

Suddenly, $100 is a lot of money, when you only have $500 a week to play with. Even $50 or $10 is not chump change anymore.

Of course, these days, making a hundred grand, particularly in Washington, is not hard to do. But even in upper income brackets, the same sort of rules apply. Most folks making more money tend to spend more - on bigger houses, fancier cars, you-name-it. As a result, the amount of income "left over" for daily living expenses can dwindle rapidly.

Cutting some of the big expenses is often a good idea. Owning an appropriately sized home instead of an expensive mini-mansion is one approach to saving money on mortgage payments as well as property taxes and utilitiy bills. But other "big ticket" items aren't so easily shaved off. You can't, for example, cut your tax bill very much. And cutting savings into your 401(k) so you can have Chinese take-out three nights a week is a foolish move.

I fell into this trap with a job I once took. At the the time, they offered me a "six figure" salary, and I thought I was going to be "rich". Of course, I had to drive 20 miles each way to the job, buy lunch at expensive restaurants, and buy new suits for the job. I came home every night, exhausted and unable to plan my finances or make dinner. Yes, we ate a lot of take-out and got fatter.

I realized that the "big paycheck" job was not really making me wealthier, as it also came with a big tax bill and big expenses. Just because I had a large income did not mean I could forego keeping track of spending. Rather, just the opposite was true.

One solution to this problem is to try to look at money in a different light. A person making $100,000 a year might say that $1,000 is not a lot of money, but in reality, it represents 1% of their income. 1% sounds like a small number, but it is not. You only get 100 of those 1%'s in your income. And as we have illustrated, most of those are already spoken for. You can't afford to squander even 1% of your income, because that is the most spendable part you have - the disposable part of your income.

And that 1% ($1000) itself is made up of ten $100 transactions. So "wasting" $100 on something is really a big deal, because you do that a few times, and bada-bing, you reach that 1% level.

I recently sold a bunch of junk on eBay and Craigslist (see my earlier blog entry) and made about $1700. Some folks might argue "well, that's not a lot of money, really". But when you think of it in terms of income, it is one of those one-percent deals, and a one-percent raise in your income is nothing to sneeze at, particularly in this day and age.

SO, get out of the mindset that "you can afford it" and stop squandering money on things like leased cars, cable television, subscription services, eating out five nights a week, and the like. Chances are, if you are a typical middle-class American, you CAN'T afford it, but rather you are mortgaging your future (sometimes literally, with a home equity loan) so you can have Kung Pao Chicken tonight.

Think about it...

Hot Tubs on a budget

Our Hot Tub is now over a decade old and still going strong, for the time being.  It has given us many years of service at a fairly affordable price.

As we have seen in my blog, it is possible to overpay for goods or services dramatically. We are not talking merely 10%, or even 20% here, or even paying double for what something is worth, but in some examples (such as virtual fax services) paying thirteen times as much for the same goods or services.

Nowhere more is this true that with hot tubs. Many, if not most consumers spend two to four times more than they should, for these simple devices.

As I noted in the preface of my blog, the goal of this blog is not how to recycle pocket lint to save money, but how to live well for less money. A hot tub is, no doubt, a luxury item. And one way to save a lot of money on a hot tub is to not buy one in the first place. However, such an approach to savings takes no imagination and thus is not worthy of mention. Yes, one can live cheaply by living a monk-like existance. But that is hardly living.

A hot tub is a fun toy to have, as it can be relaxing and also help with sore muscles, back problems, neck problems, and the like. It reduces stress and can also be fun for socializing. Presuming you have really thought this out and want to own one, there are ways you can own a hot tub for far less than you think.

1. Don't Impulse Buy:

The first step is to really think this out. Buying a hot tub at a trade show, the State Fair, or a Hot Tub Store on impulse is often a very bad decision. Impulse buying in general is a bad idea, and impulse buying expensive items doubly so.

The Hot Tub rip-off artists, like the RV and Boat set, love to sell to people at trade shows and fairs, as the customer is often not sophisiticated, nor have they done any research. If you can convince a customer that something costs more than it is worth, and not let them do the background research, you can easily double or triple the price of an item without them knowing it.

2. Don't Finance a Hot Tub:

I have noted before in my Rips Offs article about Hot Tub and Pool Table stores. These stores thrive in suburban areas and offer these relatively inexpensive commodities at outrageous prices. People buy them at these prices because they offer financing.

Thus, for example, a consumer is conned into buying a $3,000 hot tub for nearly $10,000, on the premise that it is "Only $99 a month!". Never mind that the consumer financing note adds another $2000 to $5000 to the price. Suddently, a $3000 hot tub is now over $15,000.

Hot Tubs are fairly inexpensive to acquire, as we shall see. If your finances make it difficult to buy an item that is a few thousand dollars, then that is probably a good indication you should not be buying a hot tub in the first place, but rather get your financial house in order first. These are, after all, a luxury item. You can do without.

3. What is a Hot Tub?

Understanding how these things are made and built will better help you understand how much they are worth and what can go wrong with them.

As the name implies, a hot tub is little more than a container filled with hot water. The main part of the tub is the shell, usually molded fiberglass or plastic. This is set in a wood or wood product frame, and then filled with expanding foam. A cover keeps the heat in.

The mechanicals are not complicated. A pump circulates water through the tub, through a filter cartridge, and through a heating element. A simple timer and thermostat maintains temperature of the tub.

These basic components are common to all hot tubs, and when one of them breaks, it can be expensive if not impossible to repair. Leaks are the number 1 killer of hot tubs. Once the liner cracks, or a leak develops internally (in the plumbing, surrounded by all that foam) the tub is pretty much done for.

The pump and heater will wear out, eventually, and these can be expensive items to replace, particularly if you have to hire someone to do it.

4. What About Accessories?

Of course, many tubs have other features as well, and salesmen sell these as necessary and essential, and of course, they add to the price. A two speed pump can provide a high pressure massage through numerous jets. Many people, when shopping for hot tubs, look at pump horsepower and number of jets as one criterion of shopping.

While this is a good way of comparing apples to oranges, don't get too obsessed with pump power and jets. After owning a tub for 12 years, the primary feature we find we like is.... a container filled with hot water. The idea that you can get a "hydromassage" from numerous jets blasting your body is sort of overstated. Want a massage? Hire a massage therapist. A hot tub will help relax your muscles simply because it is hot, not because the water is "jetting" onto your body.

These massage jet heads also tend to wear out over time, as the plastic becomes brittle due to exposure to chlorine and bromine. I have gone so far as to replace such jets, but the effort is largely futile and expensive.

Another feature common to most tubs is the blower. This is a feature commonly shown off at trade shows and hot tub showrooms, as it produces that dramatic bubbling effect that we think of when we think of "hot tubs". The blower simply blows air through a number of holes in the tub, causing the water to churn. What does this do for you? Largely nothing except look cool. It can be useful in causing impurities to foam up at the surface (where they can be easily removed) and it can be used to cool down an overheated tub. But as a feature you'd want to use while in the tub, it is far down the list. The bubbler tends to cause the chlorine or bromime in the water to mist, and make everyone sneeze or cough. After 12 years, we find the most enjoyable aspect of the tub is just the hot water - with all the pumps and machines OFF.

Ozone gnerators were a popular item, and our tub came with one. Supposedly they help treat the water and purify it. Ours died after several years and we never replaced it. And the water was just as clear as before. A deer whistle? Perhaps. But perhaps a dangerous one. Ozone is nothing to mess around with. Free radical oxygen is dangerous to humans. I am not sure generating it is even safe.

The latest gimmick is the chlorine generator, which is also pushed for pool use. The theory is simple, you take salt (NaCl) and take it apart electronically to generate chlorine. So you don't need to buy chlorine. But you do need to buy salt. Hot tubs use very little in the way of chemicals (or should, anyway) so I am not sure there is any savings to these.

Other items are just nonsense. Fiber optic lighting is cool, but not really necessary and not worth paying a lot for. Our hot tub came with a single 24 volt bulb, and a series of colored lenses you could put over it. The only good one was blue. Red made the hot tub look like a pool of boiling blood. Yellow, well, it looked like a urinal. Green made it appear that the tub had an algae problem. Blue was the only color that made the tub look cool and inviting.

The colored lenses eventually got old and cracked. One day the bulb burned out and I realized that it was the same bulb as in my lawn lights. You can buy these in colored versions for a couple of bucks at your local home improvement store. A lower wattage blue bulb provided a cool and subdued light than the higher wattage white bulb with a blue lens did not. So yes, fiber optic lighting is cool, but a colored bulb works well, too. And you'll often find you want the lights out, particularly at night, if you are in there naked.

Other accessories are a total waste. Built-in stereos and televisions are sort of silly, not to mention electrocution hazards. And I question how long a pop-up TeeVee will last in the chemical environment of a tub. If you want music, put boom box near the tub (but not so near it can fall in - usually at least 6-8 feet away is best). Get one with an IR remote, if you want to control the volume from in the tub.

5. Chemicals

Over-chemicaling a tub is a common occurrence. A hot tub is much smaller than a pool, and only minute amounts of chlorine and other chemicals are needed. I say chlorine, as I think bromine is a poor choice for hot tubs.

We were sold on bromine originally, as we were told that it would not cause ladies' hair to discolor. However, the same thing can happen in a pool, and we have few friends who have had discoloration problems due to pool use.

Bromine is more expensive than chlorine and harder to find. You usually have to buy it at a hot tub supply place, and it is priced accordingly. Chlorine, on the other hand, can be found at the pool section in WalMart or a wholesale club.

Some hot tub stores caution against using "pool chemicals" in a hot tub. However, the chemicals are the same, it is only the concentrations that must be monitored. It takes very little chemical to "balance" a hot tub, and usually less is more. If the pH or Chlorine levels are low, add a little and retest after a few hours, rather than dump in chemicals for a quick result. If you are not careful, you could turn your tub into a chemical bath.

Pool chlorine pucks (3" size) are generally too large for hot tub use.  But minute amounts of shock, ph Up and pool clarifier will work well in a hot tub.

In the last decade, we have seen the development of items that make maintaining your hot tub easier than ever. Test strips have replaced awkward chemical test kits, allowing you to monitor your hot tub without a lot of hassle and counting of drops. Just swirl the test strip in the water, shake it off and compare it to the chart.

Hot tub chemistry is not difficult. Chlorine (or bromine, which is just more expensive, not more effective) kills off bacteria and thus "sanitizes" the tub. The chlorine level should be kept in the "good" range specified by the test kit. Usually, a small, slow dissolving 1" puck in the intake basket will do this well. Occasionally, the water should be "shocked" with a large dose of fast dissolving chlorine, to prevent buildup of bacteria. And of course, you always have the option (unlike a pool) of occasionally draining and refilling the tub, although I find that enough splashes out over time and topping off insures that the tub water is cycled.

pH can be adjusted by using minute amounts of acid or alkaline. Again, only small amounts are necessary, and if you dump a lot of pH UP in the tub, then a dose of pH down, you are basically creating a chemical bath. Use small amounts and wait a few hours before testing.

Other levels, such as hardness, etc. can be important, if you have really bad source water. However, in most instances, such testing and obsession is not necessary. The point is to enjoy the tub, not obsess over it, and most new owners tend to over-chemical, with disastrous results.

I find that once the tub is balanced, it takes little effort.  I can feel when the water is starting to go south and add more chlorine.  I haven't tested mine for weeks at a time.  Once you become more relaxed with it, it is a lot less hassle and stress.

A little clarifier is useful on occasion, if the tub becomes cloudy. Clarifier (pool clarifier works well) attracts small dirt molecules to your filter, and thus makes the water crystal clear.

The filter on your tub is important. Most today are cartridge filters, which can last a long time. It is tempting to change these often, but for the most part, they can be removed and rinsed off, over and over again, with a new filter being installed only once a season, if that. Most filters cartridges are available online at low prices, too.

6. The Cover

I touched on the cover earlier and it deserves expanding on for several reasons. First, it is one item necessary to keeping the tub hot and clean and also keeping your energy bills low. Second, it is a wear item and will need replacement several times through the life of the tub.

For these reasons, it pays to buy a "standard sized" hot tub (a little smaller than 8 feet by 8 feet) as you can buy replacements cheaply online or at stores. Odd-sized or odd-shaped tubs are hard to find covers for, and as a result, replacement covers can be exorbitantly expensive. Even a "standard" hot tub cover is a few hundred dollars, delivered. So avoid the jumbo rectangular tub if you can. And the savings in going to a "small" odd-shaped tub are often lost in cover replacement.

Covers eventually get waterlogged and then collapse. To prevent this, keep them clean and apply some armor-all to the outside vinyl once a year. Buy a cover bracket (again, not paying hot tub store prices) to help you get it on and off. Covers can be awkward and heavy, and if you toss off the cover and let it fall on the ground, chances are, it will not last long. Our cover bracket is a simple affair that cost $200 and has a air strut like a hatchback. You fold the cover open, slide it onto the bracket, and then it hinges down out of the way.

But expect to buy a new cover every 3-5 years depending on use. Cheap covers, by the way, can wear out quickly. And thin covers provide little heat retention.

7. What about those tubs at the home improvement store?

Some of these are good deals, some not. Again, compare horsepower, heater size, number of jets, and overall size.

Some home improvement tubs have cheap covers and low power motors. This is not bad in and of itself, but it pays to compare feature for feature. On the other hand, don't let a hot tub salesman convince you that it is worth paying $6000 for basically the same tub that Home Depot wants $3000 for.

A good hot tub should run on 220V by the way, otherwise it will take forever to heat and may, ironically, use more energy. The only exception to this rule is the portable tub.

8. Installing a Hot Tub

One thing many folks don't take into account is that a hot tub needs to be installed. Years ago, the "built-in" hot tub was more common, and when installed, it meant that a shell would be built into a deck, with plumbing and wiring installed separately. Today, most tubs are the stand-alone kind, which require only placement and wiring.

Factor in the cost of installation when buying a hot tub.

To begin with, you need a place to put it. This sounds simple, but can be complicated. Most porches, decks, patios and the like are ill-suited for a hot tub. A hot tub needs to be on a flat level surface, and most concrete patios are designed to angle away from a house. A hot tub on such a surface may have an uneven water level.

Decks and porches suffer from the same problem and in addition, usually cannot support the load involved. Most decks need to be reinforced with 6" x 6" support beams before they will hold up a hot tub.

One inexpensive alternative is to place four 4" x 6" beams (8 feet long) on the ground, making a square. Drill holes in the beams and drive three or  four foot sections of steel re-bar into the holes and into the ground to secure the beams. Use angle brackets in the corners to make a solid square of wood.

Then fill the space with 6" of gravel, packing it down firmly and leveling it off. Such a platform is not only inexpensive, it provides even support for the tub, and can be easily leveled. It is also easier to run wiring underneath the tub, where the flexconduit often enters.

We used such a system (recommended by our dealer) and placed the hot tub next to our deck, which allowed us to step into the tub from the deck at an almost level entry point. If you are accessing the tub from the ground level, build a set of steps next to the tub to make entry easier.

Wiring is another issue, and unless you are comfortable running 220V wires, you should hire an electrician. Hot tubs require heavy duty wiring, often 40 to 60 amps, which means big (and expensive) copper. The copper alone can cost a few hundred dollars. You will need a three wire copper lead, usually 4 gauge or bigger, with a ground wire in addition. Using three wires with no ground is a bad idea, as is going to cheaper aluminum wiring.

A service disconnect should be located near the tub so that a serviceman can disconnect the power. But it should not be so near as to allow someone in the tub or near the tub to touch it. Consult local codes as well.

The cost of copper wiring, a service disconnect, conduit, and a circuit breaker, can run $200 to $300 just in materials. This doesn't include the cost of an electrician, should you decide to hire one. So remember that cost when looking at a used hot tub. Even a "free" hot tub is going to cost you something, and many "free" tubs are free because the owner bought them used and never got around to doing the wiring part.

9. Moving a Hot Tub

If you buy a tub, how do you get it home and how do you get it to the location you want? Hot tubs are heavy and hard to move. But it can be done. I've even moved one single-handed, although I do not recommend it, as you could easily hurt yourself in the process.

A flatbed truck or U-haul box van is probably best. Moving a tub any distance on its side or at an angle in a pickup truck could crack the shell, particularly on an older tub. Our dealer delivered the tub on a flatbed truck. I later moved it in a U-Haul truck.

Although heavy, a hot tub is more bulky than anything else. It can be "rolled" into place by placing it on its side, wrapped in its original cardboard box, or by laying out cardboard or other padding in the path. Once on its side, you can then push the hot tub, end for end, to "roll" it into place, usually with two or three people on each end while "rolling" it. Pry bars and the like can be used to push the tub into position once it is close, being careful, of course, to use a board against the tub to prevent marring.

10. Where to buy new?

The key is to find a dealer who sells hot tubs at reasonable prices. Chances are, this is not the guy with the loud radio ads, who shows up at the trade shows or the State Fair. You have to look, but good deals are out there. We bought our tub from a dealer who operated out of several storage lockers. He father was a distributor, and she sold the tubs at reasonable prices. The big box stores may be another good place to look, as well as the Internet. The key, of course, is to do the research and compare features, rather than go to an aggressive dealer and be "sold" something "on time".

11. What About Used Hot Tubs?

These can be a good deal or a nightmare. Remember that with a used tub, you have to move it and install it yourself, and as a result, they are not worth much. However, since most folks overpaid for these things, they tend to think they are worth more than they are.

So, Joe Paycheck spends $10,000 on a hot tub worth maybe $3500, and, 10 years later, he thinks that $3500 is a "fair" price for a well-used tub. The problem is, he probably still owes that much on the loan, so you can never talk the likes of him into reality.

After several years, a hot tub starts to wear out. The cabinet may start to rot (lifetime warranties notwithstanding) and the pump or heater may wear out. The covers caves in and the plastic jets get brittle and jam and no longer "massage."  A tub with a number of issues like this is really worth nothing, as you could spend thousands of dollars moving it, installing it, and repairing it, and end up with a worn out tub that will probably crack in a year or two.

If you are handy and can install it yourself, a used hot tub could be a good deal if it was attractively priced. By attractively, I mean $1000 or LESS, in most cases, far less.  $500 or less is probably a fair price for a used hot tube in working condition, that you have to move.   If the operation cannot be demonstrated, assume it is broken.  If it has any broken components, probably it is worth little, and you are doing the owner a favor by hauling it away.

12. How Long Does a Hot Tub Last?

In theory, they could last forever. However in reality, the plastic parts react with the chlorine or bromine and become brittle after a few years. The pump and heater need to be replaced, and the covers need replacement regularly. Once the outer cabinet starts to rot, the end is not far behind. You can patch and paint and forestall the inevitable with some luck and handyman skills, but every manufactured product has an end game, it seems.

Leaks are the death-knell of a hot tub, and for this reason, I would not even consider a used tub that leaks. If the shell is cracked, forget it, it is not cost-effective to repair. If the internal plumbing (underneath all that insulation) starts to leak, it is a nightmare to repair. You'd have to turn the tub on its side, dig into the insulation, find the leak, repair it, and then re-foam the underside. Once one leak starts, no doubt other parts will leak shortly thereafter.

Most tubs are toast after a decade, some may last as long as 15 to 20 years with gentle care. But eventually, there comes a point where it is cheaper to just get a new one, particularly at an attractive price, than repair the old one. Keep that in mind when looking at used tubs (why is the owner selling it anyway?) and also when yours gets older.

13. What about Portable or Soft Tubs?

These can be an inexpensive alternative to a large tub. Most are plastic, either foam sided or inflatable, and can be filled with water. A small pump and heater, usually 110 volts, will circulate and filter the water and heat it. Usually there are few if any jets. But such tubs do provide the "hot" in hot tub and may be all you need. Most can be found inexpensively, particularly used. While these are a nice alternative, don't pay too much for them.

My neighbors have one of these and report they are very satisfied with it. After many years, the heater appears to have gone bad on theirs, but again, this is typical of hot tub maintenance (and why a hot tub that needs a heater, a pump, and a cover is not worth anything). As it is round, they can move it indoors when they are not using it. As it runs on 110V, it is easy to install.

I recently purchased one of these models (Softub) for a vacation home, used, for $300, which is about 1/10th the retail purchase price new. It was easy to move and easy to install. Set it up, add water and plug it in. At the price we paid for it, it was a good bargain and may give many years of service if treated properly. However, as it is made of vinyl (like a vinyl lined swimming pool) it does have to be treated carefully and once the cover, motor, and liner are nearly shot, it is not worth repairing.

It is not nearly as large as our standard fiberglass hot tub at our other home, but then again, we didn't pay as much for it, either.

An interesting feature of the "Soft Tub" is that it uses motor heat to heat the water.  It is slow to heat, initially, but once at temperature, it holds heat and is fairly efficient.  A clever design, and yes, I would buy another one, at the right price.

Inflatable tubs are really cheap, but a case of "you get what you pay for" as they don't last long.  Our Softub, bought used, is just starting to wear out after a decade of use.  Sadly, Softub no longer sells liners, but requires that you return the product to the factory for re-lining.

14. What about Whirlpool Bath Tubs (Spa Tubs?)

I have two of these (they came with my houses) and in my opinion, they are an utter waste. Again, the idea that a jet of water will "massage" you is somewhat overstated. Most do not have a heating element (often this is an extra-cost option, and most do not opt for it, as most are installed by contractors). As a result, when you get in, the water may be hot initially, but then quickly cools down to a "lukewarm tub". Since you have already drained your hot water heater, it is hard to re-heat these with more water. And since they are drained with each use, they result in staggering water bills or dried-out wells.

Most of these spa tubs are installed for the look and are rarely used. People expect to see them in modern bathrooms, but most folks end up using the stall shower instead, and the "spa tub" becomes a huge laundry hamper. I would save my money for a real hot tub - the spa bath tub is no realistic alternative.

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By doing your research and taking the initiative, you can have nice things in your life and not spend a fortune doing it. Often the difference between "wealth" and "poverty" has less to do with how much you MAKE than with how you SPEND it. I've seen folks who make more money that I do have far, far less, because they squander most of their income through bad deals. Spending $10,000 on a hot tub when you can get one for a couple of grand (or less) is a case in point.