Sanders is huddling with advisers to determine his next move.
Sen. Bernie Sanders has convened a series of weighty discussions about the future of his presidential campaign with his closest confidants, according to two people with direct knowledge of the conversations, and at least five potential paths forward have come up in the private talks.
Several options have been proposed, among them are:
1. Remain in the race, and tear down Joe Biden with campaign attack ads and stump speeches, so that Biden will lose in November.
2. Actively aid Donald Trump by encouraging the "Bernie Bros." that Trump stands for the same things as he does. It worked the last time... right?
3. Act as a "useful idiot" for Vladimir Putin in helping advance the cause of Russia. Jill Stein is ready to step in to assist, if need be.
4. Run as an independent (which is what he is registered as, anyway) and encourage voters to "write-in" his name, so that Biden will lose one or two "Swing States" and Trump will once again win the electoral college, but lose the popular vote. The Russian Internet Research Agency is already actively promoting this online. (I am not kidding about this, either!). Ralph Nader has encouraged this approach.
5. Do the honorable thing, drop out of the race, pledge his delegates to Biden, and actively work to get Joe Biden elected, so we won't have four more years of Trump. Retire to his dacha on Lake Champlain and enjoy a well-deserved retirement, and stop being an annoying pain-in-the-ass to the rest of us.
Of the five options, number five was quickly shouted down. "Bernie has never done the honorable thing!" one of his advisers notes, "It just isn't his style. Bernie is all about Bernie - always has been, and always will be. He really doesn't care if he destroys the village to save a village. The main thing is, he has to be morally right, even if he destroys the country in the process!"
The people with knowledge of the talks spoke on the condition of anonymity to describe sensitive conversations. They cautioned that other options or nuances may also be on the table and stressed that Sanders (I-Vt.) had not yet made up his mind. and was still trying to reach out to supporters. A campaign spokesman did not dispute their account.
So, gear up for four more years of Trump!
(c) 2020 Fun with Cut-and-Paste
