Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Not Enough Television!
Hulu Plus promises to make you watch television for the rest of your life.
I was watching the South Park episode "Freemium isn't Free" and was bombarded by Hulu Plus commercials. Irony. They want you to sign up for the service so you can watch television at home, in your car, on your laptop, on your smart phone - everywhere and all the time. Five hours a day ain't enough, folks! You need to plug your brain into the matrix full-time!
I searched online for an example of this Hulu Plus ad, and found this hilarious parody ad, instead. Ironically, the ad is actually produced by Hulu Plus. I feel like the alien, quite frankly.
The promise of the Internet was that we would be freed from the tyranny of David Sarnoff's Broad-Casting. Instead of all of us mindlessly listening to the same three networks, we could create our own "content" online and listen to each other instead.
Ha-ha! Pretty funny. You don't think they would let that happen, do you?
So, instead of creating our own websites, we have "Facebook Pages" where our "creative content" is posting pictures of our cats or the meals we ate (just like everyone else!) and then "liking" products or services. Compared to the real internet, Facebook is about exciting as an infant's toy.
So "the man" has co-opted the Internet. Television could not sit by while its empire was destroyed. They turned the Internet into Facebook (which is the television of the Internet) and now, well, you can get television on the Internet, anywhere, all the time, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. And people will pay for the privilege of being advertised to.
The Internet is no longer a threat to television, it is a conduit for it. Television won.
How sad. And we let this happen. And perhaps it was inevitable.
Let's face it - most of the population of this planet is like the folks in the parody ad above - mindless drones in coffee shops downloading dreck. They have no clue what is going on in their lives, much less the world. They are outraged all the time - on cue - and act as puppets on a string. Far-left Liberals or Far-right tea partiers, it makes no difference. Their lives are one long manipulation. They are living in the Matrix.
There are a few of us, however, out there, exchanging green-eyed glances and tentacle-slaps, who know the real deal. Some of us, like me, got the message too late. Others, well, figure it out early on and rule the Earth. We are the ones who sell 200-calorie diabetes-inducing "energy drinks" to these mouth-breathing plebes - and then get them to vote down their own health-care plan. We are the ones selling stucco mini-mansions on toxic loans and then selling these bundled loans as "investments" to the retirement plan of the guy who bough the mini-mansion! Such beautiful symmetry that only an alien mind can appreciate.
We run the payday loan places, the title pawn loan shops, the rent-to-own furniture. And it goes without saying, we run the credit card companies and all the banks. Jews? Hardly. Aliens. Alien to your mind, anyway.
Sure, you can protest and riot all you want to. We direct those protests and riots, and make sure they are directed at all the wrong people. Getting 20-something kids to protest Wall Street over their student loans! That was just brilliant! Meanwhile, the Dean of the college is safely ensconced in his office, with his half-million dollar salary safely intact. Yea, he's one of us, too.
You can try to get ahead, sure. But we make sure that your efforts are all directed to our ends. Want to lose weight? Buy our diet book and eat acacia berries - and we'll tell you "one trick to the tiny belly!". Want to get ahead? Go to our for-profit college and get your parents to co-sign private student loans. Want to save money? Oh, please, clip more of those coupons and shop your way to success!
And of course we run all of your religions - and stage the wars between them. Before you send your son off to die, make sure you tithe 10% of your money. Thank you for being so cooperative!
Of course, I am being sarcastic, aren't I? Just like the Hulu Plus people are engaging in self-mockery.
Or are they? We exist to serve man....