Sunday, July 23, 2023

Not All Dogs Live to 14, Revisted

Just because some guy in the news ran a marathon at age 90 doesn't mean you will live that long - or be running marathons!

We live on a retirement island and most of our friends are in their 70s, 80s, and beyond.  We see the aging process in real-time as well as the end-game.  It isn't pretty, but not ugly, either.  It just is what it is.

One thing we see is a lot of denial in aging.  People assume they will live forever and don't realize the clock is ticking.  An 85-year-old adopts a pit bull puppy, not realizing that the dog will pull them off their feet and break their hips - and not realizing that the dog could easily live until the owner is 99 years old, if they live that long.

Here's a tip on aging: Don't get a pet than will outlive you.  Another tip:  If you want a short-term pet commitment, adopt a pet from a deceased or elderly owner. You may be looking at an 18-20 month commitment, tops, when you adopt an 18-year-old cat.

But like clockwork, I hear from the elderly or near-elderly that your life can go on forever.  "I saw a guy run the Boston Marathon, 90 years old!" as if this outlier in the bell-curve was some sort of new norm. In any lifespan calculation, there is a distribution - a spread - as to how long people live.  Some die in infancy, others in car crashes or other accidents.  Some get cancer at age 30 and die by 50.  Some live to 70 and have a heart attack.  And yes, some live to 90 or 100 or more - but damn few.  But people cling to hope, so they take these experiences of a tiny minority and project them onto themselves, even though they never ran a marathon in their lives.  Not all dogs live to be 14.

From my observations of the elderly in their natural habitat, I see that the last ten years of life, in many cases, would be worth skipping over.  Once you can't even walk, or see, or hear, and are bedridden and in pain all the time, what's the point?  Yet old ladies cling to life at this stage, sometimes for a decade or more. I saw this happen with Mark's Grandmother, who lived into her 90's (the last part not very comfortable). Meanwhile his Mom keels over dead from a heart attack at age 54.  Unfair?  Well, you can take that up with the maker when the time comes.

I run into a lot of oldsters who are grimly determined to beat the grim reaper. They live on a diet of nuts and berries and exercise every day and climb mountains - and yes, run marathons. It surely is a way to extend your lifespan, of course, but they seem so unhappy and humorless doing it.  Maybe because it is a game they know they will lose, eventually, no matter how hard they try.  Once you round the corner on 70 or so, the body starts shutting down, regenerating less and less. Muscle mass is lost. Long-term arthritis sets in.  Organs become weak.  It isn't pretty or fun.

I often say that if a 20-year-old could feel, for ten seconds, the ordinary pain their Grandmother feels every day, they would scream and howl in agony. Pain increases as you get older, which is one reason old people get grumpier sometimes. I am already at the stage when I understand why they have "old people" versions of prescription bottle caps. Shit like that gets harder and harder to do, as you age.

I ran into a fellow the other day, and he was from California (Dude!) and was of the opinion that he could cheat the grim reaper (at age 53) by taking some sort of supplements he read about online. He thought that he easily had another 50 years left of ambulatory lifestyle.  But I suspect that in 20, he will have slowed considerably.

There is sort of this knee-curve point in aging where shit goes downhill quickly.  I've seen this in my parents and other relatives.  You see them one day and they look the same as always, perhaps slightly older. Then, one day, they sort of shrivel up - their skin hangs loosely and they get this "muzzle" around their mouth that wasn't there before.  It's like they were hit with the aging stick, all at once.

It is scary, of course, so no one wants to talk about it.  But it is reality.  Can you extend life through diet and exercise?  Certainly, unless you have cancer or a congenital heart defect or some sort of ravaging illness. How long can you extend life? That's the interesting question, and I suspect we are talking a matter of only a few years.  It seems that lifespan is affected by overall health, but can be obliterated by random chance - that distribution curve, again.

I know two people on our island who are in their 70s.  One is over 300 lbs, has heart and lung problems, joint problems, and God-knows-what-else.  He's doing OK, although he has slowed down quite a bit.  How long will he live?  It is anyone's guess - modern medicine has kept him alive quite longer than anyone would have expected only a few years ago. My other friend is dying of cancer and is in great shape and worked out and so on and so forth.  God had other plans, apparently.

I think it is important to take care of yourself, but realize that a "higher power" really pulls the strings in life, whether you perceive this power to be God or the Laws of Probability (the same thing, really - which is why God doesn't answer prayers and why there is injustice in this world - Probability don't care!).

Realistically speaking, I have another 20 years of ambulatory life ahead of me - if I am lucky.  And maybe not even that.  I keep forgetting I am 63 and adding 20 gives us 83, which is damn old, whether you want to believe it or not.  Of course, never say that to an 80-year-old!  They have gotten used to their diminished capacities and declining health (and the pain associated with it) and figure they have another 20 to go.  You know, because of the marathon guy, right?  They always bring him up.

And some people tell me, "They'll never retire!" because they have so much debt or because they "like working." They also tell me, "You're too young to retire!" but they have no more of an idea than I do, of how long I will live.  Suppose I keel over dead tomorrow?  I would have wished I retired far sooner!  The sad thing to me, are people in their 50's and beyond who are waiting for life to start, as the clock is winding down.

So the secret is to enjoy the time you have in the interim.  Putting off happiness or making yourself or others miserable is just silly.  Little old ladies love to stir up trouble in the Parcheesi guild!  You would think they have better things to do with the short time remaining.  I also know people in their 70s whose life is "on hold" because they can't decide what to do with their lives, or they live in fear of making mistakes, or they feel they need to leave money to their grandchildren. Worse yet are the septuagenarians who live in absolute fear of their 90-something parents, who refuse to do the honorable thing and take a dirt-dive in the churchyard on a timely basis.

What got me started on this was talking to the California Dude who tried to convince me that life could go on forever - and with the right supplements and modern medicine, people will routinely live to over 100, and not as festering skeletons in a nursing home, but as active, working adults. Yes, it is not unusual anymore to hear about someone living to 100.  Life expectancy has improved. But moreover, there are plenty more people in the world today, so you would expect to see more centenarians as a result.

And yea, I am sure you can find one who ran a marathon.

My Dad angled for that - climbing mountains and doing the "Senior Olympics" and eating granola (he lost a lot of weight later in life).  But that didn't stop the grim reaper. He got the "dog muzzle" face one year and the turkey-neck.  And despite his goal, he fell a few years short of a Century.  I guess everyone needs goals in life, but for myself, I don't look at life as a game to be won at all costs.  For example, my Dad was a total dickhead pretty much his whole life.  Maybe if he spent more time on his family than in trying to cheat death, he might have been happier and not angry all the time.

Quality of life is far more important than the Quantity of it.  But every major religion preaches that life itself is sacrosanct (well, except for the heathens, but they are sub-human anyway, right?).  You should never take Grandma off life support, even if she is brain-dead.

That's living?  No thanks!