Some people think that talking about money is shameful or embarrassing. Who does that sort of attitude benefit? Not you!
We checked into an RV resort for a week and I was tired from driving all day and didn't look very closely at the credit card receipt. It was only later on that I realized I had been charged over $600 for a week's stay - double the ordinary rate! I went down the next day and talked it over with the clerk who immediately realized the error and refunded the difference to my credit card.
It got me to thinking. As Mr. See noted, a lot of people would have just shrugged and paid the bill. You read all the time online about people who get stuck with recurring subscription fees. "I just realized that I've been charged for several months of AOL fees, and I cancelled that account ages ago! I never check my statements - it's too hard! I just pay the minimum amount due every month and let it go at that!"
And yes, there are people who exist like that. At one time, when I was younger, I lived like that as well. We didn't have "online" accounts to check or e-mail reminders because there was no e-mail and no online. When the monthly statements arrived - for checking or credit cards - it would be a confusing list of numbers and amounts that would never reconcile with my check register. And credit card charges? Did I remember making that purchase? Of course not - and I never kept receipts, either.
Of course, I ended up in trouble - paying the minimum on the card and never paying off the balance - and paying hundreds if not thousands of dollars a year in interest payments. And as for checking? Yea, I paid bounce fees and blamed those "mean old banks!" like any good 23-year-old would do. Eventually, though, I grew up and realized that I needed to get my shit together.
And today, thanks to the Internet, you can track your expenses, checks, charges, automatic debits and whatever, online, and reconcile your accounts daily, when it is easy to do (as opposed to waiting until the end of the month and then being buried in a mound of confusing numbers). And I make a payment on my credit card daily, so the balance never goes up very far, and I never pay any interest charges whatsoever.
Pretty easy to do, today, with the Internet. Yet today, there are still people who live as I did when I was 23. And a lot of them are well over 23 - sometimes in their 30's and 40's and beyond. People whose jobs involve managing thousands if not tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars - which they do, with precision - but cannot balance their own checkbook or ever pay off their credit card. Like I said before, when I started treating my personal finances as a business, it became clear where the money was going and what mistakes I was making.
But a lot of people don't want to confront this, as it makes them uncomfortable. It is like how people don't want to discuss their salary or how much they have saved - but they will tell you what a "deal" they got on leasing a car, though. And it is probably a good thing people don't discuss these things, as it can generate resentment at work and embarrassment as well. If you find out your coworker makes more money than you, you might resent him (or vice-versa if the situation was reversed). If people find out you have a lot of money in savings, they will ask you for some of it (ask me how I know!).
The problem arises when people are too embarrassed or ashamed to discuss finances with themselves or their own spouse. I know from my own experience that when I tried to talk to Mark about finances in our 40's it was "La, la, la, la! I can't hear you! Don't want to talk about it!" No one does, it seems. Because reality is deemed "harsh" and "mean" and it is more fun to order a take-out pizza and put it on the credit card and not think about how to pay it back. It is the same mindset the drug addict has, stealing shit from your car so they can make a few bucks for one hit of fentanyl. No thought of the future!
That kind of attitude benefits the credit card companies and the banks, to be sure - but also merchants as well. No bar owner wants you to think about your credit card balance as you order another round of drinks - you might decide to go home and go to bed instead! No car dealer in their right mind wants you to think about your debt load and how much your car payments will impact your finances (to say nothing of insurance costs!) because you wouldn't buy the car if you did. Later on, when you get the bill, you'll regret the purchase - but by that time, you are stuck and can only grin and bear it - only 72 more payments to go!
It isn't fun, it isn't sexy, to think about money and accurately account for all of it. You won't be the life of the party talking about sobering things like money - so I don't suggest you do. But you should talk to yourself and your spouse about it - the "La, la, la!" approach ends up causing misery.
A friend of ours chastised us, saying, "all you talk about is money and death!" and perhaps she is right. Looking down the barrel of the last 20 years of life is a sobering event, and you realize that your remaining ambulatory years are limited and you have to make the best of them. But like with money, people don't like to think about that. I know people well into their 80s who are convinced that life will go on as it is for another 20 years or so (we all like to secretly think we are the next Methuselah). Harsh reality, however, is that by 90 or so, if you aren't already dead, your life is on a rapid decline.
Saying that, in the retirement home, won't make you popular - so keep it to yourself.
As for money, many folks think it is "evil" because the Bible said so (it never said that). They avoid thinking or talking about money because they got burned by it. Just because you are burned by a hot stove, it doesn't mean stoves are evil - they have their uses, but have to be used carefully. But it is human nature to try to bury our mistakes or not think about bad things we did.
Money is your freedom, your independence, your life. Yes, it is an invention of mankind, but a necessary one - and one that would organically create itself even if you tried to abolish it. If you are careless with money, you are being careless with your freedom and independence. Your life will suck as a result.
Many complain that their money problems are outside of their control. Wages are so low! Rent is so high! DoorDash charges $15 to deliver a hamburger! There is nothing to be done! But the reality is, for most people, is that they are not for want of money, but for want of more material goods, which they cannot afford on their budget. They want more disposable income and are chagrined to realize that in life, you will spend nearly half your annual income on just a place to live. That's the way it always has been, even for those "lucky" baby boomers.
I see these memes all the time online which are ridiculous. "You can't afford a 2-bedroom apartment on a minimum-wage salary!" they cry. And no, you can't. Why do you "need" two bedrooms if you are single? I had a studio (one room) apartment when I was making minimum wage and it suited me just fine. But that doesn't fit the narrative, so the two-bedroom becomes the new baseline, I guess.
The irony is, of course, that these same complainers claim they don't have the time or inclination to balance their accounts or track their spending, but that today's economic conditions are worse than in the past. If the latter is true, doesn't that mean that tracking your income and expenses is more important than ever? But that's not the issue, is it?
There will always be people who are sloppy with their money - and they will always be over a barrel as a result. They will be miserable and unhappy because they end up being exploited, again and again, by a system that loots the pockets of the unwary. The only solution is to be wary. Because even the best intended reform movements can't save people from their own folly, if they are inclined to folly.
You have to talk about money, if with no one else, with yourself. It is a hard conversation to have!
