Friday, January 5, 2024

The Lolita Express is in My Backyard! (sort of)

N908JE is being parted out at Brunswick Golden Isles Airport.

I woke up at 4:00 this morning and fell down a Wikipedia rabbit hole.  The whole Jeffry Epstein thing was coming out and it is kind of fascinating - like turning over a rock and seeing all the creepy-crawly things underneath it.  There is enough "dirt" there to fuel 1,000 conspiracy theories, but I suspect the truth is more mundane.

Ghislaine Maxwell is also a piece of work and Wikipedia calls her father (who owned tabloids) a "fraudster" as he looted the company's pension plan, leaving the UK government to foot the bill and pensioners to receive only 50% of what was due.  Nice fella, there!

There was lot of talk about "his plane" but apparently he had more than one - a few small business jets and the infamous "Lolita Express" 727 Jetliner.


I saw an article online about the plane and was amazed he could afford even the fuel for a 727, which, being an older plane, was a noisy gas-hog.  Few 727s survive today because most urban airports won't let them land or take off there, due to the noise issue.  And the airframes, which incorporated a convoluted S-duct intake, cannot readily be upgraded with quieter, more efficient engines.

I have fond memories about these planes, as they were once the workhorse of short- and medium-haul routes.  As a child and young adult, I must have flown on them a dozen times.  One neat feature was the rear "airstair" that allowed for quick embarcation at small regional airports that didn't have jetways.

Speaking of Jetways, during the heyday of air travel in the late 1960's and early 1970's before deregulation (and oil shocks) many planes, such as the 707, would park parallel to the terminal, rather than nose-in.  Two jetways would link up with the plane, allowing for a leisurely embarkation. Today, planes are larger and to pack more planes into a terminal, they park them nose-in with one jetway - and pandemonium ensues during boarding and "de-planing" of these enormous planes.  Not only that, but rather than a leisurely boarding, you have 20 minutes to roust the cattle off the plane and then seat the next victims.

In the pre-hijack era, you could accompany Grandma to the airport, carry her bag on the plane with her, and see that she was comfortable, before kissing her goodbye and getting off the plane.  Today, well, you aren't getting past security without a ticket!

But I digress.  Let me digress more.

I recounted before how, in 1976, my Dad paid over $400 as I recall, to fly me from Syracuse Hancock airport to Hartford Bradley field.  That was enough to buy a functional used car back then! During the glory days of regulation, airlines had to agree to provide jet service to small regional airports in exchange for the lucrative long-haul routes.  So the 727 I hopped on had started in Detroit or  maybe the twin cities, and hopped its way to Boston, stopping in Buffalo, Syracuse, Albany, and Hartford along the way, like some city bus or something.

Weirder still, I was late for the flight and they held the plane for me, as I was one of a handful of passengers on the flight, most of whom de-planed (a word that did not exist back then) in Albany. At smaller airfields, the pilot would taxi up to the gate, turn around, and the flight attendants would drop the airstairs.  A few got off, a few got on, and then back to the runway to take off.

It was a different world back then.  Today, everyone flies, planes are over-booked, and air travel is one indignity after another.

I should mention that the whole hijacking thing started in the 1960s or so, when disgruntled people would hijack planes to Cuba for some reason.  Then there were others, such as "DB" Cooper who hijacked planes for money.  As a result, primitive metal detectors were placed at the door to the jetway and flight attendants had to screen passengers.  Of course, over the years, terrorism became more of a thing and after 9/11, well, we ended up with TSA.

Planes no longer have rear airstairs anymore, and after the DB Cooper incident (as well as a couple of copycats) most 727s were modified with a "Cooper Vane" to prevent the airstairs from being opened in flight.  We've moved on.

The engines are worth something, I guess.  Without them, it is never leaving Brunswick again!

So it is no surprise that the "Lolita Express" is being cannibalized for parts. The engines and some avionics might have value to some operators of older jets, probably mostly overseas.  The hull will be cut up to make beer cans and F150 bodies.  Only memories (or nightmares) will remain.