Monday, November 4, 2024

Understanding Baby Boomers

This Rabbi has some interesting insights on addiction.

The younger generation has a hard time understanding baby boomers.  They seem so selfish and detached from society.  They seem insane at times, falling for nonsense like Trumpism or Qanon or the latest fake posting on Facebook.  The younger set is quick to blame it all on leaded gasoline, which is a pat answer, but fails to address why all baby boomers are not this way.  I think there are other factors at play.

Growing up at the tail-end of the baby boom, I had the chance to study boomers in the wild.  As a child, their behavior even then seemed bizarre to me.  But I think there was a reason for this - their parents.  The previous generation was coined "the greatest generation ever!" by Tom Brokaw (thanks Tom, for enabling narcissism!).  After all, they survived the depression and fought the Nazzis - heroic deeds indeed!

But of course, not all did.  Mark's Dad heroically bailed out of a burning B-17 moments before it exploded, spending four years in a POW camp. And no, it wasn't like Hogan's Heroes either.  Of course, Mark's Dad would be the first to say he wasn't a hero, but just caught up in history - wrong place, wrong time.  My Dad, on the other hand, literally partied his way through WWII and had a ball, not having to go overseas until the fighting was largely over and even then, was far back from the front.  He didn't get even a scratch.

Nevertheless, the boomers grew up in the shadow of all this.  We played "GI's and Germans" instead of Cowbows and Indians.  And we had all the props to do it with - left over Army canteens, German helmets (war souvenirs) and even an ammo belt to play with. Bang! Bang!  You're dead, Hitler!

And the greatest generation ever (not yet named) were quick to point out how great they were and how the next generation was nothing but worthless pieces of shit - sort of like how we mock the younger set today for their avocado toast and video games.  Every generation does this to the next.  And yes, the "Greatest Generation Ever" had its own slang ("23 Skiddo!" or "Oh You Kid!" - or whatever) as well as their own music (Big bands were the rock 'n roll of the era) and modes of dress - all of which alarmed their parents' generation.

But the war changed all that.  I recently read The Last Convertible which was a novel based on the author's pre-war experiences.  They partied and drank - a lot - at Harvard, but the older generation, including their professors, were indulgent.  After all, these "kids" would soon be called up to serve their country and many would be wounded or die in the process.  Suddenly, your mid-term exam schedule seems a lot less important.  There was a seriousness to their tomfoolery, even if only a portion of them actually served or risked their lives.

So you can imagine what they thought of their frivolous children.  First, in the 1950s, becoming beatniks or rebels without a cause, and screaming over Elvis.  This is what we beat Hitler for?  Then, in the 1960s, the hippies and the Beatles and drug culture and "dropping out and tuning in."  Parents slaved to save money to send their kids to college so they would have a better life and the kids wanted none of it! Ungrateful bastards!

But the above video got me thinking.  The Rabbi has a point - people don't just do drugs to have a good time, but to anesthetize themselves from their own demons.  I knew a woman who became a heroin addict.  She got pregnant in the 1960s when abortion was illegal and an out-of-wedlock pregnancy meant you were a "slut" not worthy of a "good man."  Her wealthy father flew her to England for an abortion.  But when she returned, she was showered with a litany of abuse by her Dad, who considered her "damaged goods."  She lived up to that expectation.

My own Mother is another example, growing up in the 1930's as a Lesbian, when such things were not talked about.  Her own Uncle shot himself when he was "outed" as gay and no doubt her family thought he did "the honorable thing."  The message was clear - gay was the worst thing you could be.  So she drank herself to death (and attempted suicide) over the next half-century, finally succeeding at her task.

Of course, not everyone's demons are the same or as bad as another's.  But I wonder perhaps, if the whole "counterculture" movement was a reaction to the overhanging reputation of the previous generation.  Those coming of age in the post-war era were expected to keep their nose clean and go to school and get good grades and behave, because Mom and Dad had already done all the heavy lifting in WWII.  Eventually, they rebelled against these restrictions.

The "lost generation" of Korean War vets, is a case in point.  The Korean conflict was as horrific as any other war - worse in some ways.  Yet, returning veterans didn't get the hero's welcome their predecessors did as America was ready to move on from war.  Besides, the Korean was was creating steel shortages and this was inconvenient to the folks back home!

Maybe the same could be said for Vietnam.  The older generation "did their duty" and didn't understand why the younger set wasn't eager to die for an ambiguous cause - supporting a government and a religion that was not even popular with the people they were trying to "save."

The baby boomers started to go off the rails.  Drug addiction and alcoholism continued to rise in the 1960s and accelerated in the 1970s, as new drugs, such as crack, took hold.  An entire generation, told they were worthless pieces of shit by their parents (and often beaten - it was a thing back then) turned to anesthesia to forget about their troubles.

Of course, many escaped this trap and thrived and grew.  But a lot of the boomer generation are damaged goods, and often the damage is self-inflicted.  Worst of all, many failed to learn from the lessons of their own lives - just as their parents failed to learn their own experiences - and passed on the traumas of their childhoods to the next generation.

My Father, for example, had an anger management problem - he was angry all the time, usually at his worthless children.  And yea, he used to beat us, that is, until one day I realized he was old and middle-aged and two young bucks could kick his ass.  I guess there is an advantage to being youngest - you can see these things.  He disappeared for four days and when he came back, well, he was a lot calmer.  But I digress.

Sadly, we (all of us) fail to learn from our own experiences and mock the next generations for their perceived transgressions.  We pick on them for using oddball slang and listening to annoying music, just as our parents' generation did with us, and their parents' generation did with theirs.  Some argue we should go back to a "simpler time" when children were silent and obedient, but I suspect that simpler time never existed, other than in physically abusive homes.

But getting back to baby boomers, I suspect part of their underlying "trauma" was caused by trying to live up to the expectations of "the greatest generation ever" and then failing badly at it.  They were set up to fail, which is why just gave up and "dropped out, turned on, and tuned in" to the whole counter-culture thing.

There is hope, however.  Not for the boomers, who are, fortunately marching off to the graveyard in droves as we speak, but for the next generation.  Alcohol use is down, as is drug use and teenage pregnancy.  Perhaps the next generation has fewer demons to slay than prior generations, even as they face a real-world with what seem like insurmountable challenges.

Maybe so.  If so, good for them - and their goofy music, slang, video games, and avocado toast!  Could be, they're on to something.