What the heck is Parkinson's Disease, anyway?
When you think of Parkinson's Disease, the first thing that comes to mind is Michael J. Fox and the trembling and lack of motor control. However, Parkinson's is a lot more than that, and trembling and shaking are not necessarily symptoms - at least at first.
My doctor prescribed Carbidopa-Levodopa 10-100 mg tablets to take twice daily. He said if I had Parkinson's, I would notice a change (improvement) in my gait almost right away. And I did, although the pills seem to give me indigestion and I am down to taking one a day. These are apparently not dopamine agonists, which are also prescribed for Parkinson's and apparently can cause people to gamble compulsively.
I asked Google AI if Carbidopa-Levodopa were dopamine agonists, and it gave two answers, Yes and No. Several searches later, I found some more technical literature which seems depositive. But that is the danger of using the Internet for medical advice. WedMD always says you have ass-cancer, no matter what. I will ask my doctor next week.
I looked on Wikipedia - still a relatively decent source of information, except when someone edits a page maliciously (usually those are quickly corrected though). It was interesting to read the symptoms, with change in gait being one precursor and the one reason I went to the doctor in the first place.
One of the symptoms stood out among the others - Seborrhoeic Dermititis. The Wikipedia entry for that shows the smiling face above, which made me drop my phone. I have been suffering with those red spots in the exact same locations for a few years now. I was told I was shaving too closely. And although I have never had dandruff, for a couple of years I have had itchy scalp. The prescribed medication for that is Ketoconazole shampoo. I broke out in a cold sweat reading that, as there is a bottle of this on my desk, next to my ever-increasing array of pill bottles, prescribed over two years ago.
There are other symptoms as well, including vision problems (black streaks flying off in my peripheral vision) as well as the digestive issues. What I thought were four separate things may be all of one - other that the torn rotator cuff. They were all indicative, it seems, of Parkinson's.
The biggie is Bradykinesia:
Bradykinesia describes difficulties in motor planning, beginning, and executing, resulting in overall slowed movement with reduced amplitude that affects sequential and simultaneous tasks. Bradykinesia can also lead to hypomimia, reduced facial expressions.
This is the real issue. I feel like I am trapped in my own body these days. I have to concentrate on very simple tasks, which seem to take forever to do, when only a few short years ago took mere moments. Putting on clothes, tying shoes, are now slow-motion processes. Like old Uncle Joe on Petticoat Junction, I'm "moving kinda slow" these days.
And yes, typing this blog is now agony, and not just because of my bad arm. My error rate is through the roof and my typing speed has plummeted. This blog, alas, is turning into Flowers for Algernon faster than I expected.
There are other symptoms. I have a drinking problem - that is to say, I pour a glass of water in my lap instead of in my mouth as my brain is suffering from spatial orientation issues. I have to think about taking a sip these days, as when I assume the glass is at my lips, it is two inches away. And yes, I have noticed a slight tremble in my right hand, but that might be the rotator cuff. The problem with self-diagnosis, is you start looking for symptoms instead of experiencing them.
It is not all bad, however. I am retired and have enough money to live comfortably, if not extravagantly. If I still had to work - whoo-wee that would be bad. I can still do most things, it just takes longer. It is harder on Mr. See, who gets frustrated and seems to think I am doing this on purpose to garner sympathy or something.
I wrote before how the old ladies on the island will yell at their nearly deaf husbands. And when the husband asks to have something repeated clearly, they reply, "Nevermind, it doesn't matter!" which translates to you don't matter. It takes more energy to say, "Nevermind, it doesn't matter!" that to just repeat what you fucking said, without mumbling, turning away mid-sentence, or letting your voice drop at the end of a sentence. I've seen it all, I'm afraid.
It is like family members who scream at dementia patients. "Don't you remember who this is?" they say in a scolding tone, as if the patient chose brain rot at a lifestyle or something, Of course they don't remember - they have Alzheimer's! When you scold them for not remembering, they don't suddenly remember, but rather learn not to say anything and go along with things, as they know they will be yelled at for showing weakness or failings.
It falls along the lines of telling depressed people to "cheer up!" That's not helping, dude!
Nevertheless, the fear with any illness is not just the physical discomfort you may experience, but the inconvenience and extra work foisted upon loved ones. No one wants to be a burden to others, particularly if you become so ill as to be incontinent or have to be hand-fed. The end game in life can get quite messy.
But so far, I have been pretty upbeat about all of this - telling jokes with my doctor and such, which probably gives him a false sense that I am doing all right. With any luck, maybe early intervention and medication may delay the onset of the disease, or at least help with the symptoms.
In retrospect, I was never a very coordinated person. I sucked at games and ball sports and was always in wonderment at those who could catch a baseball that had been thrown hundreds of feet. How did they do it? I suspect it was some sort of survival instinct from ages gone by, as for early man, accurately throwing rocks, then spears, then arrows or slingshots, was a necessary skill. Then again, so was the skill in hammering arrowheads from flint. Maybe my ancestors were more tool-makers than tool-users.
Whatever the case, if I sucked at golf before, well, it is out of question now. Even after rotator cuff surgery (scheduled for July) I doubt I could swing a driver, except in slow motion. The closest I will get to a golf course is the putt-putt.
But hey, that's not so bad, eh?
