Accidents happen. People drive poorly. Expect this and don't act shocked. Take steps to minimize your own risk.
If you go through life being perpetually surprised by bad things, life will suck for you. Expect the worst and plan for it. If it doesn't happen, then good for you. If it does, you can at least ameliorate the outcomes.
I was perusing YouTube the other day, and bicyclists like to post videos of themselves being hit by "inconsiderate" drivers, even though, in many of these videos, the bicyclist is running stop signs, red lights, zooming across crowded crosswalks, etc. And in a couple, at least, it appears the bicyclist intentionally rams into the car in question, without any attempt to slow down or swerve.
And yes, in many cases, the car is "at fault" because they did not see the cyclist. But the cyclist is also "at fault" for not expecting the car to not see them. Driving well means to drive defensively. What does this mean?
It means that at every intersection, you should expect someone to run the red light. At every driveway, you should expect someone to pull out in front of you. In a crowded residential neighborhood, you should expect a small child to dart out in front of your car.
And you should slow down and have a "plan B" - an escape route or sufficient stopping distance. Because if you rely on other drivers being perfect all the time you will get into accident after accident.
If you prepare for these things, you may be able to avert a horrible accident - most of the time.
But many people prefer the other course - when it comes to driving and to life. They want to blame things on others in a causational model. "If the other guy had looked out, the accident wouldn't have happened!" they cry. But then again, if you had seen the other guy and thought, "Gee, I'll bet he just pulls out in front of me, what would I do them?" - and have a contingency plan - you could have avoided the accident.
And in many States, this indeed is the law - the concept of only one person being "at fault" is disregarded for the spurious nonsense that it is. The person who had the last chance to avoid the accident - and failed to do so - is also partially to blame.
So in these videos, where cyclists zoom through crowded city streets at high rates of speed, is it entirely the car's fault there is a collision? Or perhaps if they slowed down an anticipated the other fellow doing something stupid, they could have avoided the accident? Or maybe, just maybe, riding a bicycle in a crowded city is just not a very smart idea - the law of probability will catch up with you over time, and it won't make a rat's ass of difference whose "fault" it is, when you are in a wheelchair.
"But I was in the right!" they scream. And that is a very immature attitude toward life. Because, as the saying goes, you can be right - dead right - and it doesn't matter, because you are dead. And after decades of riding motorcycles and bicycles, I realize that whining about how bad car drivers are is sort of stupid. You have to expect them to be bad drivers - because let's face it, they give anyone a license these days. And that means you have to expect that dude to change lanes or make a turn without signalling - and not ride in his blind spot where you will plow into him.
In your financial life, shit will happen also, and I have commented on this before. Bad things happen, and yea, you can argue it is "someone Else's fault" or you "had a patch of bad luck." In all these financial sob stories you see on TeeVee, the Clem they are interviewing always has a laundry list of reasons why his financial situation is beyond his control. But then they pull back and you see that this guy who wants our sympathy has a monster truck and a bass boat parked in his yard - and no savings in the bank.
Driving defensively can keep you out of accidents. When you approach an intersection, a driveway, or whatever, expect someone to pull out or fail to stop or break the law, or whatever. If you expect the probable then you are less likely to get into an accident, regardless of the other guy being "at fault".
Similarly, in economics, if you set up your finances so they can survive various random disasters and setbacks, you are more likely to survive financially.
Unfortunately, most people in this country life "paycheck to paycheck" - and are proud of it (at least from the way they love to go on TeeVee and brag about this). Every penny they earn is spent, and most of it on stuff they don't really need. When that paycheck goes away (which is someone else's "fault" of course) then the whole carefully balanced machine wipes out.
It is akin to driving the speed limit down a busy street lined with cars and just hoping that everyone obeys the laws, looks both ways, and no one pulls out in front of you or does something stupid. You are putting your fate in the hands of others, and the outcome is all-too-predictable.
And whose "fault" is that, really?
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Portlandia has a great video spoofing these aggressive bikers. It also pokes fun of the whole "Fixie" trend, which is idiotic (style over substance). Riding a bicycle and then acting shocked that there are cars out there is rather foolish. Expect the expected.
9 comments:
Another great article.
I have a very, very difficult time dealing with the ""But I was in the right!" they scream." part of this article. I find myself more and more, especially financially, being in the right, but still losing the outcome. A couple examples.
When I was much younger I got an enormous cell phone bill. After spending 40 minutes in Verizon the store finally verified that a 'random' tower had picked up my signal, even though I was in a free zone. Then they told me "but there is nothing we can do to fix the bill." I would have handled this differently today, but suffice to say I am still not allowed in Verizon stores anymore.
Just this week, almost 10 years later I find myself in the same position... and unfortunately acting much in the same way. I ordered an item, it arrived broken. So I got email confirmation from the seller stating that he would reimburse me for repairs. After shipping, repair cost, etc. I finally receive the invoice and send it to him. He refuses to pay, because of a technicality where the monetary matters must be resolved in 45 days, it was now day 52. After speaking with the fifth person in customer service I was disconnected for "unprofessional conduct" on the phone. Geez. $750 lesson learned. This is also a great example of 1. Reading the fine print/driving responsibly (financially speaking). 2. Not counting on others to do the right thing.
All said I totally agree that it is important to be prepared for litte and big "shit happening." Neither of these mistakes cost me my livelihood but something could come along and do just that.
I also think this article lineates and highlights the importance of having 6 months of savings in liquidable cash/investments. I do happen to have this and you would not believe how many people (business partners/girlfriends) try to separate me from it because "what is the point of having all that money lying around... etc."
Re: Verizon
Well, one doesn't have to play. A cell phone is not like oxygen. one doesn't need it to live. No, really. Really.
I use AT&T Gophone, which costs me $100 a year and after every call, tells me how much I spend. 10 cents a minute. Bam. Done. No taxes, hidden fees, etc.
I never have the problems you mention, as a result. But then again, I rarely use my cell phone.
If one wants to use a cell phone a lot or have a smart phone or a texting plan, etc., well, then one has to play their game - a game in which they win, and you lose.
But they made a choice to play....
You have the other choice of not playing - that is always within your control.
As for the other item - was this an eBay thing? You do have to play by their rules, and 45 days (a month and a half) is a long, long time.
When stuff like that happens, put it in writing, with photos. Trying to resolve things on the phone rarely works out.
And sometimes, people are just jerks, companies are rip-offs, and you get a raw deal. Spread the word, don't go back, is all I can say. There are a lot of businesses I will never go back to, as a result of such shoddy treatment. And when I investigate further, I find out that others had similar experiences.
But don't be surprised when people say, "Well, gee, I never had a problem with them!" - I get that all the time.
Bad things are going to happen in your life. It will rain when you plan a picnic. People will be jerks. Stuff happens.
You can get depressed about it, or try to pin the blame on a particular action, point in time, or actor. But I think that is futile. The decision-tree model of life is flawed.
It is like saying, "Gee, if only someone had smothered Hitler in his crib...."
And I think, as a young people, we tend to think this way. We visit a friend in the hospital in intensive care after a motorcycle accident, and we all tsk-tsk about the "stupid lady" who turned left in front of him.
As an adult, however, you may be more inclined to think of such accidents as predictable outcomes and not outlier events. You buy a motorcycle, and a motorcycle accident is in your future, period. It doesn't matter which lady turns in front of you. One will. End of story.
Many readers here tout their rewards credit cards as the cat's ass - as they get $200 to $700 a year in cash back. But as an older person, seeing these things explode in people's wallets, I tend to see the predictable outcome. And it ain't pretty.
And one can say, "Well, it was that person's fault for not paying off the balance every month!" but in reality, it is just something quite likely to happen to anyone.
The way to avoid it, is - like the cell phone example - to NOT PLAY THE GAME AT ALL. They can't rip you off if you don't sign up - for a smart phone or a 15% interest rate credit card.
Risky financial propositions can backfire - and should be limited to situations where there is some real profit to be made, or some dire necessity to do so.
I never got ripped off.
But in case I see a raw deal brewing I am ready to go to court. I already did quite a bit of research in this area. Of course I never really encounter too many opportunities for a raw deal because I live a very simple life.
Since I never owned a home I avoid most ripoffs. I never owned a business either. More ripoffs avoided. When it comes to cell phones and banks I ask a lot of questions. I learn the rules and avoid the pitfalls. My wife and I are perfectly healthy. Since we are not in the medical system we avoid another class of ripoffs. I only owned Hondas. No ripoff there. Every time I moved I did it myself with a friend and a U-Haul. More ripoffs avoided. We travel very little. Even more ripoffs avoided. After all of this the only ripoff that I can suffer is a bad product.
And I got a bad product for one of the most expensive things I ever bought which was a clothes washer. I fought and won but it took me a while.
One has to have a keen sense about who is right and who is wrong; who lived up to their contractual obligation and who did not. Are you wrong and asking for a favor? If you are right never ever give up. I have fought and eventually won two such battles.
People say to me that I shouldn't argue over things and just let things go. Actually I enjoy the win. The actual 'fight' does not cause me any grief. And turning a raw deal into a win hones my skills for the next such dealing. I don't care what people in a store or on a phone line think about me. I care about my bottom line. I also have the rare situation where my wife is exactly on the same page as I am for this topic. Given that I work and my wife stays at home I always make her the 'customer' when we buy something so that she can handle all related dealings, including a court visit if necessary.
People should be held mercilessly accountable for their mistakes. I have no problem applying that standard for myself.
With regards to auto accidents....
New York is one of the most liberal states. But fault is assessed in every car accident reported. Insurance companies subrogate every accident. Yes your collision (if you have it - I don't) will pay for your wrecked car and your no-fault will pay for your broken arm. But your insurance company will go after the other guy's insurance company if he is the one pulling out of a driveway and you are driving on the street. Most people do not realize this. A car accident is a civil tort and if not properly settled is subject to litigation.
To avoid trouble and expense I limit my driving. I drive defensively and follow all laws to the letter. I drive defensively and try to avoid accidents. If I ever do get into one that is not my fault I will fight ferociously (if necessary) until I am made whole.
People like to say things like, "I'll see you in court!" but they really don't mean it.
Even bringing a small claims issue to court is time-consuming and problematic. Even if you win, the other side can appeal, tying you up for months and requiring you to hire an attorney.
And even if you win, you have to get a judgment and then attache a lien and collect. Not worth it for anything less than $10,000.
And if you hire a lawyer, expect to pay $5,000 to $10,000 in legal fees for a full-blown litigation.
THIS IS WHY con artists always ask for $2,000 to $20,000 from their victims - and not $100,000. The latter is enough to make a lawsuit worthwhile, the former is not.
So, you can steal $5000 from people all day long, and never have to worry about someone "taking you to court" - it is an empty threat.
And I say this as a lawyer. I would not waste my time going to court, even small claims court, over such trivial matters.
I did it once as a youth - and won - but never collected.
Subject for another posting, perhaps - thanks!
Actually it isn't too hard to be made whole. I was hit in NY on the Thruway, and GMAC paid $22,000 in repairs on the car, $3000 in "soft tissue damage", $3500 in "depreciated value" for the car, a rental car, airfare to go pick up the car, and even paid for my broken digital camera.
Of course, they could have just handed me a check for $16,000 - the value of the car. But they thought it could be repaired for $8,000 and get off lightly. Not at a BMW dealer, alas.
Yes. It was in fact an ebay deal. I've been with ebay over 3 years as a buyer and seller. And as you mentioned I've said this plenty of times, "Well, gee, I never had a problem with them!" until now that is... By the way, I had emails, pictures and confirmation, I was only one click short of doing everything correctly and was told so by eBay. Losing me (and many others - word of mouth) as a customer because of one button.
I will never do business with them again and let them know it over phone and buy letter. I will also make a cover letter to send to friends/family with ebay and they will willingly quit because I say so.
Steve, I live somewhat by your 'mantra.' Fight till the end! I've fought hard and fast battle over pennies on the dollar because I've felt victimized, and won. However, as I get older and learn more valuable lessons I am leaning more towards Roberts inklings here, though still mixed with components of your strategies. I still fight for my dollars, but often times it is best to walk away and even better, not play to begin with.
Note: I've yet to read the 'small claims court' article but plan on doing so - but believe I already know the lesson.
Case in point, I've learned a $750 lesson and have no recourse (believe me Steve - I have exhausted nearly all avenues). I will write my bitter letters, but after that I will walk away and "no longer play the game." Shit happens.
eBay doesn't buy or sell products, any more than Craigs list does. They are just a listing service.
You have to look at the feedback record of the seller. I have written about this before.
http://livingstingy.blogspot.com/2010/05/some-ebay-tips.html
Feedback less than 100% is problematic.
And sometimes, well, there are bad deals from bad sellers.
On the whole, however, I have made out there - buying some items for far below retail, such as computer parts. Or selling cars for very competitive prices.
But I do have 100% positive feedback and try to keep it that way.
Getting angry with people who rip you off might provide some emotional satisfaction.
Most likely, it just lets them win - a second time. The more you fume and fuss, the more they laugh at you.
Unless you are prepared to show up at their offices with an AK-47 (which is a bad idea - you'd have to hire a sitter for the kids during your trial) then the best thing to do is just walk away.
I had a guy tell me that the item I shipped arrived broken. I asked him to send me pictures of the broken item, and he said he would get around to it, but he never did.
It was a $50 item. I just refunded his money. Not worth the hassle, to me. And if he was lying? The Great Wheel of Karma will take care of that.
It usually does, in good time.
Every heard of a happy con-artist? They don't exist.
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