Tuesday, February 21, 2017

The Rapid Rise and Fall of Yanni Yapalapalous


In retrospect, it was abundantly clear this guy's time in the sun would be short.

Yanni is gone, and we were just getting used to his particular brand of crazy.   In case you were late for class, one of the odder aspects of the Trump campaign was the rise of a young conservative star named Yanni Yapalapalous.  Well, that's not his real name, but it might as well be.   A British citizen born in Greece, he moved to America to tell us stupid Americans how our country should be run.  And like Europeans when we tell them how to run their countries, we certainly appreciated his input.

He rose to "fame" or more likely infamy, by trolling an actress who stared in the Ghostbusters franchise, starting a racist and misyognist flame war against this actress for no particular reason whatsoever, other than a perception that making an all-female Ghostbusters movie was somehow "politically correct". 

He then went on to further infamy by becoming an "editor" at the Breitbart blog site (which is all Breitbart is, a blog.  If it is a "news organization" then I'm the fucking New York Times).   He published such charming pieces as "Birth control makes women ugly and crazy" or some such misogynist shit.

And of course, he was gay.   Gee, that set the cause back a century or two.   But as I noted before, all the best Nazis were Gay - what with their snappy uniforms and their carefully choreographed rallies and whatnot.   Busby Berkley couldn't do better than Nuremberg!

Yanni joins the storied pantheon of odious gay right-wingers, such as Roy Cohn - who oddly enough was also an acolyte of Trump - or his mentor.  I wonder if Roy called Trump "Daddy" too?  No shit, Yanni really did this.   Again, in retrospect, all the signs were there.

But what was the cause of Yanni's downfall?   Well, it seems he made some comments "taken out of context" he claims, that seem to condone pedophilia and child sex abuse.   I am not sure what context makes these right, but he suggests that 13-year-old boys are sexual predators, seducing innocent gym teachers on a whim.   I am sure that is the argument Mark Foley used.  

But then again he's Greek.   That's that they do.   Right?   You live by the stereotype, you die by it.   He's just saying what everyone's thinking, right?  Uh, maybe not!

But Yanni should have realized that his time in the spotlight was destined to be short-lived.  In any Nazi movement, they embrace the fags early, only to stuff them in the oven later on, once their usefulness to the movement is no longer needed.   Google "the night of the long knives" and figure out what happened to Ernst Rohm - caught in bed with a bevy of boys, the night Hitler arrested him in person.

And that is why I didn't buy Trump's argument that he was going to "protect" gays from Islamic extremists.  It is a compelling argument until you think about it and wonder, "well, who will protect me from Trump's followers?" - because if you go to a Trump rally, you will see a lot of randomly directed hate, and it will come your way sooner or later.

Poor Yanni.  Put a fork in him, he's done.   I am sure Breitbart is going to let him go soon, and he probably didn't make much money from that gig.   His advance from Simon & Schuster was a lousy $250,000 - hardly the stuff of blockbuster books.   Speaking engagements at colleges will no doubt dry up as well.  And you can bet he lives in an over-mortgaged house in West Hollywood, with a lifestyle that while not quite at Johnny Depp levels, is sure to be hard to reconcile with his new income stream.

Speaking of which, what will his income stream be from now on?   Well, Yanni, I can only suggest you practice this line:

"Welcome to Wal-Mart, Can I help You?"

You'll need it!

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