Tithing, Revisited

Donating money to a church may be a fine thing, but not at the expense of your personal well-being or that of your family!

I mentioned in a previous posting that some sites that link to this one are a little, well, whacked.   They claim to be financially frugal sites, but the stuff they promote is off-the-wall.  You can't spend your way to wealth, but on one site, members seem to be competing to see how much junk they can buy.   On another, the blogger posits that he has a "system" to beat the stock market, but his 20+ credit cards are all carrying a balance - yet he has to tithe to his church before paying them off!

A simple net worth calculation might illuminate these folks as to where their finances are heading (off a cliff).   When your debt load goes up over time, your stock market "system" ain't working, my friend.

Tithing to a church or donating money to a charity, while you are heavily in debt, is never a good idea.  Even if you believe in the concept of tithing (which some say, like end-times theology, is a modern invention, not something taught in the Bible), if you are heavily in debt, and going in deeper, you really don't have an "income" to speak of.  10% of nothing is nothing.  Or more precisely, 10% of negative wealth is a negative number - does that mean the church pays you back? Good luck with that!

Some financial "gurus" like David Ramsey, preach some good ideas (and a lot of bad ones) and one of the bad ones he teaches is that you should "tithe" 10% of your pre-tax income to your church, plus additional "gifts" above and beyond this. Not surprisingly, many evangelical churches hire Mr. Ramsey to put on programs at their churches, to help parishioners get out of debt.  They would rather their flock tithe to the church than to the unholy Gods of Visa and Mastercard.

In case you missed math class, 10% of your pre-tax income is an awful lot of money.  It may be more than the government gets from you.  It is a staggering chunk of change to fork over - and for what?   God doesn't need your money, period.  You can't buy your way into heaven.  Who wants your money is the pastor of the local mega-church, so they can pay the mortgage on that leviathan.  Or in the case of the Catholic church, so they can support the enormous political and economic power base of the Vatican - whose power is never, ever abused.

It is funny, to me, but the same people who want "small government, lower taxes" are the same folks who want "bigger religion, higher tithing."  Why can't a religion follow the same path of being small, economical, and cheap?   After all, God doesn't need money, or elaborate cathedrals built in his honor.

But of course, this is a personal choice - and a piss-poor one, if you ask me.   So much trouble is caused in this world by organized religion.   The Irish Catholics used to come to this country to solicit funds for "the cause" in Northern Ireland.  "Give us the guns to do the job!" they would say - the "job" being killing Protestants.  Of course, the Protestants in Northern Ireland were doing a good job of killing Catholics, too.

Today, Muslim extremists do the same thing, often through disguised (or not-so-disguised) "charities" that Muslims are exhorted to give to (again, this is stated as a part of the religion - maybe this is, or is not so.  The folks who say this are, of course, the folks asking for money).  Oddly enough, the folks they are killing are fellow Muslims - they have a deep hatred of one another, moreso that non-Muslims.  Sunnis and Shiites have been slaughtering each other for centuries.

And so on and so forth.  A religion that hauls in lots of money usually ends up causing all sorts of trouble.   Keep your pastor poor and starving - and your church simple and unadorned.  Access to God is free for anyone.  There is no price tag attached.

But, beyond all that... there is something quite odious about tithing.

You see, people tithe to a church often for the most wrong reason - status.   We talk a lot about status here, as it is one thing that is common to our human nature (status-seeking) and one thing that trips up our mind and our spending habits.

How can tithing be status?   Well, if you make a big deal about how much you tithe to your church (or donate to charity) as one fellow does on his blog, then you are using this to show how holy you are (or holier-than-thou) and what a great Christian fellow you are.   It is status-seeking behavior, plain and simple.   And you know, God doesn't really cotton to that.  It is prideful behavior.

If tithing really was a good idea, and you really were doing this for pious reasons, well, you wouldn't tell anyone about it.   The same is true for charity.   Only anonymous charity is really charity.  The moment someone opens their mouth about it - or has their name on a plaque of donors - it really isn't charity anymore, but status-seeking.   You are not "giving away" money, but trading it for perceived status in the community.

Bill Gates hasn't given away a dime but rather has spent a lot of money to buy status as a charitable dude who is really great and all and wasn't just some schmuck in the right place at the right time, saddling us with a second-rate operating system.  Right?

Jerry Lemelson, the famous "Patent Troll" donated $10 Million to the Smithsonian, so they would call the American history museum the "Lemelson Center for Innovation".   He gave huge amounts to MIT as well, so they would name something after him.   Late in life, he tried to buy respectability, as there was a lot of negative press about this "Greatest Inventor who ever lived and never invented anything" (He's dead now).

So, real altruism is really altruistic.   But rarely is such the case.  The number one donor listed in the Symphony program isn't "Anonymous" but some investment bank hoping to snare some of that top-hat and fur-coat business.

On a more personal level, I knew a couple, Frank and Shirley, that tithed to one of these mega-churches.   They were a fascinating couple, as by the time I met them, they were not very religious (unless you count vodka as a religion).   By the time I met them, they were also dead broke.

Over their lifetime, however, they made a lot of money, and spent it just as fast.   They leased new Cadillac every year, they told me.  They sold their house and bought a huge motorhome.  They were now destitute, and trying to live on Social Security alone - no savings, no investments, no pension, no nothing.   And it is hard to live on Social Security!

Along the way of their life's journey, they joined an evangelical church - a fairly famous one - and for a while decided to be holy rollers.   They went to church every Sunday, and tithed of course, and even paid money into a church pew fund, which resulted in their names being engraved on a little plaque on their favorite pew seats.

By the way, that sort of thing is not really new.  Back in Colonial days, church pews were divided into "boxes" with each prominent family having its own box, the Washingtons and the Masons, of course having front-row seats. So yea, church status is hardly a new thing.

Frank and Shirley decided to donate even more.   The church decided it needed new stained-glass windows, and it became a competition of sorts, among parishioners, as to who could donate the most money toward this project.  Frank and Shirley sponsored an entire window (again, with the de rigeur brass plaque beneath it).   It was a lot of money - money they didn't have to spend - on a church.

What they found out, of course, was that the status of such donations was fleeting.  The church was constantly asking for more and more money for yet more projects, and Frank and Shirley were pretty tapped out.  Status and attention were now being given to newcomers who ponied up the dough.

They never told me what caused them to have a rift with the church, but I suspect it began to dawn on them that they were being had - that the huge amounts of money they donated to the church were just making the church rich, and them poor.   And now that they were poor and could not longer donate to the church, well, the church had really no use for them.

Frank and Shirley aren't rocket scientists.   They aren't morons, either.   They are pretty typical Americans, who are baited into one thing or another, whether it is a Cadillac car, a giant bus motorhome, or a false religion (the latter being redundant).

They never bothered to do the math and figure out whether their net worth was increasing or decreasing over time.   They just looked at the monthly payments and figured if they could make all the payments this month, with a dollar left over, they were ahead of the game.

And that is the problem for a lot of people tithing.   They can't see that their financial ship is sinking, as they don't track their overall net worth.    And even as they sink further and further into the red, they keep giving money away to a church that really doesn't need it, and a God that definitely does not.


UPDATE:

This church is doing a fundraiser to buy the pastor a $65 Million jet.   That is one helluva lot of bake sales, my friend!

http://www.christiantoday.com/article/televangelist.creflo.dollar.launches.appeal.to.buy.65.million.private.jet.for.evangelism/49887.htm

Guru Books? Beware!

Should you look for investment advice in a book? Probably not.

A reader writes, asking whether I know of a good book on how to invest your money.   I am not sure how to respond to that.  I think he is still searching for the "sure thing" or the quick, easy money.  I get a lot of inquiries from people who see my blog but never really read it and understand it, and they want to know how to make a lot of money in a short period of time.

Sorry, wrong blog.   And the ones promising you that information will cause you untold heartache.

The majority of the money you end up with in retirement will be the money you set aside - the money you save.   The best basic "investment" advice is to put as much aside as possible.   The idea that you can invest a buck and turn it into a million bucks is just not feasible or probable.   You have to save heroic amounts of money.

But, everyone wants shortcuts.  They don't exist.   If they did, no one would tell you about them in a book.  People think they can "invest" a few hundred or a few thousand and become millionaires, as if a fully-funded retirement is something you can buy for not a lot of money.   It just ain't so.

This is basic common sense - logical thinking versus emotional thinking.

I've perused a few of these investment "gurus" and found them lacking.   Suze "Sooze" Orman, for example, started out saying what I have said all along - spend less, save more, diversify your portfolio, and wait.  Time is on your side.  Good Advice.

Then she became a spokesperson for Buick and Sea Ray boats, and then got a TV show where she "approved!" people to buy shit.   And it all fell apart.  She went for the money because, I think, she realized that people desperately want to believe the emotional theory - that you can "have it all now" and somehow leverage investments.   No one wants to hear about the drudgery of cutting expenses and counting pennies.   No one.

And you can't blame her for seeking personal gain.   The powers-that-be want you to spend money on a leased car, or a new boat, or a cell phone plan, or cable television.   They don't want you accumulating wealth and becoming independently wealthy.

Oh sure, they want to you pretend invest by buying stock in an IPO that friends of theirs are running.   The shouting guy wants you to BUY! and SELL! on his command, like you are a Pavlovian dog.   You will go broke this way.

I have been approached - twice now - by a "reality" TeeVee show that wanted to have "stingy" people on their program.  They wanted kooky people who annoyed their families with their stinginess.   You know, saving dryer lint to knit a sweater - that sort of thing.   Of course, they wanted to make saving money and cutting spending look like ridiculous things to do.

Gee, I wonder why?   "We'll be right back to 'Crazy Stingy People' right after these messages for leasing new cars, refinancing your house to pay off credit card debt, and a fun new miles rewards credit card!  Stay tuned!"

Oh, right, that.   The TeeVee, which I rail against, is full of horrific messages.  And most of them are along the lines of "we're all victims here, living paycheck to paycheck!  The only way to get ahead is by extreme couponing or buying your Abercrombie shirt on sale!   If you just shop enough on Amazon, you'll be wealthy!"

In other words, just give up on saving and spend it all now.   And I get that from a lot of readers who think I am crazy (why do they keep reading, then?) and that you can "score" with a car lease, and you should mortgage yourself up to the hilt and then invest in dot-com stocks.

I had a friend who did that - he tried to kill himself later on.

I saw a book from Dave Ramsey once in a supermarket.   I was reading it and thought, "Well, this guy gets it!"  And like the Sooze, he had  some good advice, save your money, pay down debt, invest in rational things.   It all sounded so good until I hit chapter 3 and he started talking about how much to tithe to a church.   He said 10% of pre-tax income was a "baseline" and that selected "gifts" on top of that were expected.

I put the book back on the shelf.   I learned later that he gives seminars at churches, who pay him to tell parishioners to tithe to their church and not the evil Gods of Mastercard and Visa.   My advice is more to the point - tithe to no one but your own self.   And no, this is not "selfish" it is a matter of survival.   Moreover, we don't need more victims in the world, so you do me a favor by taking care of yourself, as much as you do yourself a favor.  If you get your finances in order, you are one less person I have to support with my tax money.  Let me thank you in advance.

You see, there is no "trick" to investing or getting ahead.   It is basic logic.   You can't spend your way to success.  When you decide you need a fancy car and a fancy kitchen and an oversized house, you are bankrupting your future.  There is no way out of this other than to shed the material and use that money to provide for your future.

"But Bob, isn't there a way I can still have a new iPhone 8, granite countertops, a new leased Acura, and still make money in the stock market?   What if I buy all these new IPO stocks, surely I can get rich and have all my toys, too!"

You haven't listened to a damn thing I have said, have you?

Getting ahead requires sacrifice, not indulgence.   You can have a Jet-Ski or $8,000 more in your IRA.   You can't have both.   You have to learn to do without, and that is the hardest thing to do.   And no one wants to hear this, hence it doesn't appear in investment books or seminars or on the TeeVee.

The idea that there are "secrets" to making money is just idiotic.   And again (and I have repeated this so often, I sound like a broken record) if there were such secrets, no one would ever tell them, as then they would no longer be secrets and no longer be effective.

"But Bob!" a reader writes, "Maybe he wants to tell others these secrets to help his fellow man!"

No, people really think this way.  Some days, I feel I should just give up.

A Hedge Fund manager recently promoted an underling to run his fund, paying him $250 Million dollars.  Why did he do this?  Because he felt this 34-year old had the secret to making money.   If he felt he could get this information from a $39.95 seminar or book, he certainly wouldn't be paying him all that money.   And the hotshot kid ain't selling his "secrets" if indeed he has any, in some stupid book.

People want to believe in the tooth fairy.   And if you want to believe, that's fine.   But don't expect me to validate belief-based investing.  It is emotional thinking, not logical.

There is no big secret to wealth.   Spend less, save more, put money aside in a plurality of rational things, avoid hyped and promoted investments, invest for the long-haul.   You will do OK in the long run.

That has always been my rational message.   If you are looking for something else, you are barking up the wrong tree!

But then again, I guess if the TeeVee people offered me a million bucks to tell people they're "Approved" to buy a Jet-Ski, I would probably go for the money.

So, fuck it.  Buy nothing but IPO stocks!   Lease a new Acura!   Buy that mini-mansion - you'll get a huge tax deduction!   Leverage yourself with as much debt as you can handle, because the more debt you have, the wealthier you are!   Tax deductions are the key to success!   Buy more - the more stuff you buy "on sale" the more money you SAVE!  It all makes sense now!  What the fuck was I thinking?

Mea culpa!  The American way of debt is the only way to live!

The sarcasm light is ON.

Beware of Financial Gurus

 Suze "Sooze" Orman on her new Yacht.  The financial advice business is working out well - for her.  How's it working out for you?

I have posted a number of things here in the hope that someone might find some good advice or at least an idea or two. I don't get paid for these postings and don't expect to get paid.

There are, unfortunately, a lot of financial "Gurus" out there who, while sometimes giving good advice, often have an agenda of their own - and often can be bought.

For example, Suze Orman is one such Guru. Initially, she made her fame and fortune dispensing some pretty basic common sense sound advice. Don't spend more than you make. Borrowing is never a good idea. Don't try to keep up with the Joneses. That sort of thing.

One piece of good advice she gave was that when it came to cars, you should buy a decent car and hang onto it forever. Leasing, she said, was never a good idea. She touted her old BMW 7-series that she bought a decade ago and now had over 100,000 miles on it. Sound advice.

But then... General Motors hired her as a spokesperson, and hey, waddya know? Check out those deals on new Buicks! She sold out to the man. See:

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_hb5273/is_/ai_n20887072

And of course today, she is now a spokesperson for Sea Ray boats.  Wonder where that is going to go...

Orman has also leveraged her "Common Sense" financial advice into a small industry of books, kits, seminars, radio and television shows. One person who has definitely benefited from Orman's financial advice is...Orman.

This is not to say she has nothing worthwhile to say. It is just, as I have said all along, you cannot SPEND YOUR WAY TO WEALTH. So when Orman or others suggest you BUY a book or kit or whatever from them to help you with your finances, you should think about the irony of that proposition. Check the book out from the library instead. It's free, there.

Besides, the advice in these books is pretty much common sense, as I have laid out here. There is no free lunch. You can't have it all and not be deeply in debt. You are better off living with less and living in peace than keeping up with your neighbors and living in debt. Basic stuff, really.

In the supermarket the other day, I saw a book entitled "Total Money Makeover" by Dave Ramsey. I thumbed through the book and thought a lot of what he had to say was good advice. Again, most of it is common sense.

I visited his website and like Orman, it is more of the same. Buy my book. Attend my seminar. Send me money, period. Giving financial self-help advice is a great way to help yourself to someone Else's finances.

One troubling aspect of the Ramsey website was its religious slant. I was a bit shocked at this at first. I have nothing against religion, which can be a healthy influence for some people. But for the financially strapped, this comment from his website gave me pause:

"As a Christian, you probably know that you’re called to tithe. That means one-tenth of your income – off the top and before anything else – should go to your church. Beyond that, anything you give is an offering, which is over and above the tithe."

If everyone in the world gave 10% to churches, the churches would be astoundingly wealthy. Provided the churches are doing good with this money (running a homeless shelter or soup kitchen) and not evil (buying pastor Smarmy a new Gulfstream Jet and Rolls Royce) there is nothing wrong with tithing per se.

Nevertheless, I believe that if you are severe financial difficulty, you should consider paying yourself first before you open your pocketbook to your church. And you should know where the money is being spend when you give it to them. Some churches are little more than scams to collect money tax-free.

(And if you think about it, shop around.  There are other religions that don't require tithing or ask for a lot less than 10%.  You shop for the lowest price on gas.  Why not on salvation?  Or just cut to the chase and realize that organized religion is a sham and that God hates it.)

Ramsey's books and seminars make sense in a way. Christian churches are probably suffering from lack of collections when their parishioners are strapped for cash. Better to pay 10% to the church than to pay 10% to Citibank.

There is also some criticism of Ramsey's financial advice as well.

See also:

http://www.fivecentnickel.com/2005/05/09/dave-ramsey-is-bad-at-math/

All in all, I think these Gurus mean well, but they do manage to turn common-sense advice into a wildly profitable business.

Save your money on Guru books. Check them out at the library. Or just...use your common sense.

Is It OK to Rip-Off People? Yes.

I used to have this carefully crafted sense of outrage and injustice.  But over the years, I have come to realize that many folks are their own worst enemies.  The con-artist cannot survive without those willing to be conned.   It is as simple as that.  So, con away, I certainly won't stop you!

One interesting aspect of Blogger is that I can see what search terms find postings on this blog as well as which sites refer to this blog.  So when people search on "Husband sending money to Brother" or "How do I get Angie's List to stop charging my credit card?" I can see this, and it is quite fascinating what questions people ask on the Internet - and what questions steer them here.

As I noted, I also get to see which sites refer to this blog, and some of them claim to be "financial" sites, but I really have to wonder.   When I go to those sites, I see all the same old bad ideas - that you can "get ahead" by playing the cash-back credit card game.  That "smart investors" can make money picking stocks.   That being a "smart consumer" means buying tons of crap and then getting rebate bonus sale prices on all of it.

They are, to say the least, missing the point.  I'll say it again, this time, really, really  slowly:

You Can't Spend Your Way To Wealth!

And that is what these folks are doing - spending as hard as they can and then wondering why it isn't making them rich.

One poor fellow (in every sense of the word) has run up tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt.   Is he worried about this?  Of course not.  He has a stock trading scheme that is going to make him rich!  But of course, this month, he has to tithe to his church, so he's a little behind on the bills.   He admits that he could probably declare bankruptcy right now, as he is so heavily in debt.

Some folks just don't get it - and never will.

Do we feel "sorry" for these folks?  Do we pass laws to try to protect them from their own folly?  Or do we just harvest them like corn - mow them down financially and take their every last penny, which they give to us with blubbering thanks?   Lately, I am beginning to think the latter.

On another "financial" site, which is monetized, people seem to be competing on how much bling they can buy - at sale prices.  The idea of not buying bling seems alien to them.

What disturbs me, I guess, is the utter lack of questioning basic presumptions by these folks, with regard to every economic equation or proposition.   As I have noted time and time again, in any argument or proposition, you have to question the underlying assumption.   And often, in terms of finances, that presumption is, "Is this really necessary?"

For example, you can try as hard as you can to get a "good deal" on satellite or cable TV.  You won't get one.  Why?  The companies that run these franchises are very, very smart - and very odious as well.  I worked on a piece of Patent litigation in the Cable industry, and we tried to track down some of the founders of some major cable companies as witnesses.   One was in jail.   The other was in the witness protection program.   When people tell me they think Cable TV companies are a "bunch of crooks" I have to laugh, as these folks really don't realize how close to the truth they are.

The Cable and Satellite people may offer you come-on pricing, but you will still end up paying an awful lot of money to be advertised to.  And you don't need to go to an online "ripoff" site to understand that their customer service is the worst in the world.

So how do you get a "good deal" on cable or satellite TV?   Short answer:  you can't. 

 But, if you challenge the premise you can come out miles ahead.   What is the premise?  The premise is that you need cable TV.   And many people just can't see this or get their heads around it.   How can you live without cable television?   Well, to begin with, most of the dreck you watch is just off-the-air crap you can pick up with a simple digital antenna.   And a lot of stuff is also available online, which, if you use AdBlock Plus, is ad-free.

Or, you could just not watch television.  Radical idea, I know.  But not only will your life not be degraded without TeeVee, it will be better.

But most folks don't want to even try.   "I have to watch my sports!" one cries.  Really?  Why?   It is that important to you to sit for four hours and watch other people exercise?  Maybe that is the cause of your health problems, right there.   Maybe playing a sport would be a better idea.   Anything other than sitting, which is deadly.

I mentioned before about the folks in the Patent business that rip-off inventors.  They are called "invention promoters" and I have actually testified against one of their lawyers in a disiplinary proceeding (Harry I. Moatz v. Michael J. Colitz, Jr., Proceeding 99-04, December, 2002).  I used to think that we in the Patent bar should "do something" to protect inventors from these promoters.

I really don't think that anymore.   Sure, I have a page on my website and on this blog that spells out to anyone willing to read, what the real score is.  But increasingly, I find that it is fruitless to try to "save" people from their own folly.  You can't save people from themselves.

The epiphany came to me when an inventor called me and asked about one of these companies.  I was very careful not to say anything about that company (lest I get sued) but instead told the inventor how invention promotion firms worked and let him connect the dots.  While he was on the phone, I searched his invention online and found three Patents for inventions just like that, which I e-mailed to him, at no charge, along with the opinion that the likelihood of his getting a worthwhile Patent was nil.

Two weeks later, he calls me and says I am full of horseshit.  The invention promoter called him and said that their "professional invention evaluation staff" had a meeting and said his invention was the greatest thing in the world!   He would end up a millionaire!

So I told him good luck and good bye.

Two years later he calls me, after spending $20,000 with the invention promoter and getting no patent (or a patent not worth anything) and finding that no one wanted his invention.   He is not angry with the invention promoter.   He is angry at me.  "Why didn't you warn me about these people?" he says, forgetting that I spent an hour on the phone warning him and trying to talk him out of giving them his money.

I learned then what I have learned with this blog.   Not only are people not going to take good sound advice (save your money, spend less, accumulate wealth slowly over time, stop borrowing money) but they will fight you tooth and nail as those ideas conflict with their own inner narrative.   And when their financial lives go horribly wrong (you can't retire on your accumulated cell phone or cable payments) they don't blame themselves for being irresponsible, they don't blame the merchants who took all their money.   No, no, they blame me for pointing out the nature of their folly.

And if you think I am kidding, I am not.   And this is largely true for everyone from all walks of life.  No one likes to be told that their problems are largely of their own making.   Michelle Obama promotes good diet and exercise, which seems a like a reasonable thing to do.  The response is a chorus of "don't tell us what to do!" by folks who are hoping to learn the "trick to the tiny belly" that doesn't require they exercise or eat right.

People are their own worst enemies.

So, if you are plotting some sort of scheme to separate people from their money, I can't really say that you are a "bad" person for doing this, as there are plenty of other people who will do it, if you don't.   Of course, you can't blame me for saying that what you are doing is a scheme, and that following that scheme is a pretty bad idea.   But of course, the folks you are ripping off aren't going to read this blog, and if they did, they wouldn't think it applied to them.  Right?  So knock yourself out.

As for me, I just don't have the stomach for it.   My weakness is actually caring about people and feeling that something is indeed lost when people feel ripped off.   But one thing I have learned, over the last few years in this blog, is that each "outrage" or "ripoff" out there requires one simple thing:  Consent of the ripped-off.   You can't be scammed if you leave your pen at home.   Yet so many people are quick to sign on the dotted line.

Raging True Believers!

Save belief for the church.... and even then, remain skeptical.

Belief is an odd thing.  And I can understand how people might be drawn to a religion to answer the unanswerable questions in life - "Why are we here?", "What happens when you die?", "What is Consciousness?" -  that sort of thing.

But it mystifies me as to why folks rely on belief to answer questions like, "Which car gets the best gas mileage?" or "What should I invest in?" - that sort of thing.  Things that are best left to a calculator than to fervent belief.

For example, I posted a note about whether Diesel cars make sense.   After cranking some numbers, I came to the conclusion that no, they really don't.   The extra cost of the car, combined with the extra cost of the fuel, more than offsets the gas mileage advantage - if there even is one.

But the Diesel "faithful" would have none of that.  They believe in diesels as though it were a religion, and of course, cannot be dissuaded even by a numerical argument.

Similarly, you point out to Gold bugs that the run-up in Gold prices is pretty much done, and buying gold at this point is pretty dumb - it has nowhere to go but down, when it is being mined for $500 an ounce or less - often far less.  "No, no!" they cry, "Gold will always be worth a lot and will just keep going up in price!"

But having lived more than a decade on this planet, I remember similar words, in fact from about 8 years ago, when people tried to convince me of the same thing with regard to Real Estate.  Talk about raging true believers!   And again, I heard the same mantra in 1989, again with regard to Real Estate.  And I heard it in 1995 with regard to "dot com" stocks (and again in 2012 with Facebook).

And of course, I heard it all in 1980 - with regard to the price of Gold.   And yes, friends of mine bought "Gold Kruggrands" from South Africa back then.  The price tanked and stayed tanked until 2005.

"But this time, it's different!" the Raging True Believers say.

Um, again, I heard that in 2007, 1989, 1995, and in 1980.   The believers always say that "it's different this time" and then make a lot of vague noises.

Why do people substitute belief for logic in areas of their lives where belief has no business?   Many are just stupid, and don't understand the difference between the two. There is a fellow in Florida, who preaches "prosperity theology" and says you can pray your way to success. Many evangelical Christians on the radio do this as well - telling listeners that God is like Santa, and if they just tithe enough, he will pay off their Visa bill.

But if you have read this far, then you aren't that stupid, or at least I hope you aren't.   We can't help the truly stupid, but we can help ourselves.

So why do otherwise smart people do this?  Why did Chelsea Clinton's Father-in-law buy into a Nigerian Scam?

Because we, as human beings, like to be told what we want to hear.   And what we want to hear is this:

1.  Our misfortunes are not our fault.

2.  You can make money without work or risk.

3.  You look good in that hat.

4.  Have you lost weight?

5.  There are simple secrets or tricks to life, and once you know them, you are set!

6.  But for the actions of others, you would be wildly successful.

The list goes on and on.  The common denominator is weak thinking and externalizing.

You really want to know the inside secret to getting ahead in life?  Really?  Well, it is hidden in those six statements listed above.   Actually it is not hidden, but in plain sight.

And I'll give you a clue:  P.T. Barnum understood how it worked.

Yup, all you need to do, in order to be wildly successful, is exploit other people based on their inner need to be told what they want to hear.  There is a sucker born every minute, and you will never go broke, underestimating the taste and gullibility of the American Public.

But of course, perhaps profiting from the weakness of others makes you queasy and disgusted. If so, good.  Congratulations, you have a soul.

You realize, of course, that many others do not, including a certain Mormon with a shit-eating grin.  Folks like that are happy to exploit and ruin others for fun and profit.  And it doesn't bother them at all - and they may even self-justify their actions as "creating jobs" even as they lay people off and crush their retirement plans - and the plans of many others.

You can still succeed in life without having to sell your soul to Satan.   In fact, you can do quite well, working hard and providing value for your labor.  The trick is to take what you have earned and save it, so you accumulate wealth, not dissipate it.

And to do this, you just need to not be a Raging True Believer and think that spending money is going to make you happy, because the TeeVee said it would.

In other words, to get ahead, you don't have to victimize others but rather just stop being a victim yourself.

And if you think about that last sentence, it illustrates how con artists prey up their victims.   Most victims believe that the system is rigged, and that the only way to "get ahead" in the world is to rig the system.   These are the folks who regale you for hours about how rotten everything is and how the system is rigged in favor of the big banks, the government, the minorities, or the "Wall Street Fat Cats."

So, as a con-man, when you tell a loser like this that you have an inside "trick" on how to game the system, well, he believes!  Of course he believes - he is a Raging True Believer!

Save belief for Sunday at Church.  And even then, you should be skeptical, particularly when the pastor asks you to take out your wallet.

(Why do I say this?  There are hundreds, if not thousands of religions on this planet, each claiming to be the "one true religion".  Clearly one or more of them are wrong.   You need to contend with the possibility that it might be yours that is wrong).

For other areas of your life, use logic.   Do this, and you will do well.

Some Side Hustle Ideas

Creating a side hustle isn't difficult, just think of something illegal, then make an app for it.

This whole "side hustle" thing has got me to thinking.  Why can't I become an internet billionaire by taking something that's illegal and then making an app for it, for the smartphone and then just skim a little bit off the top of each transaction? Then I can go public in an IPO and claim this is "technology" and sell billions of dollars of stock and retire.  It's worth a shot.

Here are some of my ideas:

1. Foodber:  This is sort of a cross between Uber and Airbnb.  As I noted in another posting, a lot of people don't like to make their own food or are unable to do so.  Meanwhile, your kitchen is sitting around unused most of the day. Why not take your cooking skills and put them to use as a side hustle? 

Even if you have no cooking skills, who cares?  Have you eaten at any of these "fast-casual" or fast-food restaurants, lately?  It is all just crap that comes out of bag, reheated by teenagers - possibly your own kids!  Just buy some frozen entrees and microwave them - who's to notice?  Not the types of people who look at restaurants in terms of calories per buck, that's for sure! 

Put a few cafe tables in your living room - or perhaps on your back deck - and then start a-cooking! Put a menu board out front and a velvet rope on the front porch. Maybe your kids can make a little extra cash valet parking cars as well. Your wife could act as bartender, and you can use the family room for the bar area. 

Since you don't have to do those messy things like getting a liquor license, health inspection, insurance, fire exits, or commercial zoning, you can save an awful lot of money and charge prices that are less than ordinary restaurants. Patrons can find your home-restaurant through the Foodber app, which naturally would also handle payments for you and of course, take a little skim (25%) off the top - for me, of course. 

You just have to hope the authorities don't shut you down or the neighbors complain. And hopefully, you don't get sued for food poisoning or if a patron slips on your sidewalk, as your homeowner's insurance won't cover that.  But helpfully, we here at Foodber will provide you with a $100,000 liability policy! 

2. Pimpber: Think about it. Your wife's vagina is sitting around most of the day not being used for anything. You could rent this out and have a nice steady stream of income. 

The Pimpber app would hook you up with potential clients and also handle payments through their credit cards, laundry the money overseas, and pay you back in Bitcoin so it was not traceable. 

Of course this need not be limited to just your wife. If you have children around the house who are of legal age, they can also be put to use in this side "hustle" as well! 

Of course, my skim off the top would be a little higher.   Bitch!  Where's my money? 

3. Drugber:  This is the ultimate side hustle for many inner-city youths.  Drugber can put you in touch with international drug cartels who can ship massive quantities of cocaine, methamphetamine, heroin, and of course, marijuana, right to your door. You can then resell this for a profit, again using your family members as sales people. I'm sure your teenage kids will have no trouble unloading some weed at the local high school. 

Not only that, you can work this as an MLM scheme!  You can sell "distributorships" of your own to other people and assign them to different territories. Just make sure the territories don't overlap with other drug dealers or you could find yourself in a bit of a gang war!

4.  Churchber:  This was Mr. See's idea.   Why not set up an evangelical church in your own home?  In addition to all the money you make from tithing parishioners, you get tax-exempt status on your property.   The neighbors might get a little pissy about all the cars parked on the lawn, though.  But hey, a church in your home - it worked for Westboro Baptist, right? 

The Churchber app would help traveling evangelicals find a place to worship, right in your own home!  Since you don't need any religious training to become a Baptist minister (or indeed, even have read the bible, as Jim Bakker later confessed) you need not worry about being "qualified" to lead a congregation.

Just spout some gibberish and claim to be speaking in tongues. Or randomly select a bible verse - preferably a sentence fragment - and then free-associate about it, hinting that perhaps God is displeased with his creation. 

In place of a collection plate, however, parishioners would tithe with their cell phones, at which point, I get my "taste" of the action!

Illegal? Well hell yes, but so is driving a taxi without a chauffeur's license, a taxi medallion, and commercial registration and insurance for your vehicle.

It is no worse than turning a residential neighborhood into a hotel zone, without bothering with messy zoning commission hearings first, paying the bed tax, or getting proper licensing, inspections, hard-wired smoke detectors, emergency exits, and a host of other regulations that real hotels have to comply with.

These are just a few ideas I came up with on the spur of the moment. The possibilities are endless. Just think of something illegal and then make an app for it.

And then profit!

* * *

OK, my sense of humor is pretty lame.  But then again, isn't this the point of these "tech-that-are-not-tech" companies?  They often prey upon the desperation of people to make an extra buck, because a lot of people desperately need to make an extra buck to dig themselves out of debt, including student loan debt.  Or maybe they can't afford housing in places like California, so they drive for Uber all night long, and end up tired and wiped out the next day at their regular job.

By the way - and this is probably illegal today - when I was working at GM and UTC, it was against company rules to be "moonlighting" at another job.  You could be fired if they found out.   They wanted your entire productive output, not some phone-it-in effort after you've been delivering pizzas or driving a cab all night long.

Not only that, they didn't want competition.   Frank Lloyd Wright was a "side hustler" - cheating his employer by designing houses "on the side" for cash clients.    Of course, his employer found out and fired him.   But he ended up doing pretty well, nevertheless.

And I have side-hustled myself!  When I was in college, I was pretty poor, and I worked several "side" jobs, often at the same time - it was exhausting work.  Delivering pizzas, tutoring calculus, working at United Parcel until four in the morning.  Going to school at night and sometimes even working my full-time job at Carrier!  I learned to like coffee about then.  But I was young and when you are young you can do those sort of things.

And yes, I have rented out our condos in Florida on VRBO - although by the month, not by the night.  And in retrospect, we could have done far better with the New York property if we had rented out the "in-law suite" to a college student, or finished off the apartment in the barn and rented that out as well.   The entire house could have been rented out during Cornell's graduation weekend - entire families would come up to see their son/daughter graduate.

But, stupidly, we were concerned about our "things" being disturbed, which in retrospect, was idiotic.  We are not talking about museum-quality collectibles, but just the ordinary crap that people own.  Opportunities missed, because we worried about the material.

Of course, in regulation-heavy New York State, we would have likely run afoul of the authorities - which is why Airbnb isn't legal in Manhattan.  So we worried about that.  Turns out, the best "side hustle" was to sell the place and pay off all our debts and retire, debt-free.  That is the ultimate side-hustle - living off investments.

But there is another aspect to this "side hustle" thing that is disturbing.  When I was a kid, such things didn't exist, unless you were desperately poor.  Middle-class people didn't have two jobs.  In fact, most Mothers didn't work at all.  Over the years, women entered the workplace - nearly doubling the working population within a decade.  Oddly enough, the workplace absorbed all of these folks with no problem.  Dual incomes became the new norm, and maybe one reason our country became more productive and more wealthy - perhaps.

That is an interesting thing to note, to the naysayers who say that automation is going to take away all our jobs over time - more and more people are working today and yet the workplace absorbs them.  And the same is true with these "side hustles" - there seems to be no shortage of people wanting to take these crappy jobs, just yet.

But that may be about to change.  Wages are going up - often organically, sometimes by government fiat in places like Seattle, Washington.  Workers are going out on strike more often.  Uber drivers are demanding more pay (even as their company loses money) and to be treated as "employees" and not go-fuck-yourself "contractors".   The endless supply of desperate people who need to make an extra buck may start to dry up, in this era of record low unemployment.   We might just have to let those Mexicans back in, Mr. Trump!

But all that being said, I wonder sometimes if we haven't lost something here. Maybe it was "equality" when women entered the workplace - but before too long, two incomes was no longer an option, but a mandate to survive, at a middle-class income.   Today, two incomes are not enough - you need three or four, perhaps, as each spouse has a job and a "side hustle" as well. And financial "gurus" helpfully suggest this is the way to solve your financial problems, or to be able to afford a new car - by side-hustling.

Again, I've done it.  Granted, at age 25, I had the energy, and indeed, it was probably a better use of my time to work a side job than to hang out with my brain-dead drug-addled friends, smoking pot and grousing about how unfair life was.   In fact, I was happier working than slacking.

It makes me sad to think of these legions of young men in their 20's and 30's who are living in their parents' basements, smoking pot and masturbating all day long, playing video games, polishing their guns and katanas, and waiting for life to begin, when their most productive years are passing them by.  These kids don't need a side-hustle, they need a hustle.   I wonder what excuse they give their parents for not getting a job, in this era of low unemployment?  I wonder what excuse the parents make to themselves for not tossing junior out on his ass?

Why are some people working 2-3 jobs and others working none?

The SEX Routine....

Sex is part of life, get over it.

As I have noted in a number of postings, your brain is a neural network, and understanding how your brain works is key to figuring out your own behavior.  While the various nodes of our neural network can be modified and adapt to circumstances we are placed into (which is why we are top predator on the planet, thank you) our brains do come "from the factory" so to speak, with some programming built-in.

A lot of this is stuff your brain stem does - make you breathe, pump blood, excrete, and so on.  You know, the stuff that keeps you alive.

But there are other things - a lot of things - that your brain does to keep our species alive and more importantly, keep your own tribe, group, family, country or other grouping ahead of all those others out there.

And often these things that are designed to keep our species or tribe going, are directly detrimental to you personally.

For example, your brain is programmed to be patriotic, to obey orders, and to march off to war, when stimulated in the proper manner.   You end up getting your ass shot off in some foreign country, which does you no good personally, but arguably enhances the survival of the rest of your tribe back home.  Your brain is programmed to make sacrifices for others.   Well, some of us have that programming.

Sex is one of those fundamental drives or program routines that comes bundled with your basic Operating System.  It is one of those drives that insures survival of the species, even though it really does nothing for you personally, other than provide intermittent pleasure.   But survival of the species is important, so the sex act is tied with extreme pleasure, so we will all do it.

People for whom sex was not pleasurable, well, they died off eons ago.

So your brain, once it has enough food, clothing and shelter, either wants to sleep or to have sex.   It is a pretty fundamental part of your existence.   Yet so few of us really understand it.  Most are scared of it, or ashamed of it, or associate it with all sorts of taboos or rituals - usually enforced by various religious beliefs.  The latter is not by accident.

People let sex screw up their whole lives.   Women get bent out of shape when their husbands have sex with another woman - and act like monogamy is some sort of natural condition.  It isn't, of course, as our drive to reproduce (insuring survival and genetic diversity of the species) is a much stronger drive.  In biology, we call this the "sneaker male" - the male of the species that slips in and has his way with the doe, while the dominant buck (who was probably gay anyway) postures and poses with his big antlers.

Of course, it is not hard to figure out that sexually transmitted diseases made their appearance in the not-too-recent past.   Many scientists and doctors believe that the HIV virus (or one like it) visited mankind eons ago, and that the present epidemic is only a latest iteration.

So it is not hard to see how monogamy and religious proscriptions against promiscuity and certain sex acts got started.   Just as eating raw pork is going to kill you (and most religions warn against that as well), screwing everyone in town will also.

But of course, that raises the question:  why do humans (and some other animals) practice sex acts that do not result in reproduction?   Everything from masturbation to sodomy to the good old Catholic blowjob isn't going to make babies.   So why do people do these things?

Well, duh, they feel good.  Right?   The sex drive is so strong in us, that we will do just about anything to satisfy us.   And no, you can't just turn this program "off" on a whim.  It has no off switch.

Anne Landers once ran a letter where a lady wrote in saying, "Since I reached menopause, I decided that my husband and I would no longer have sex.  But the other day, I caught him masturbating in the shower!  I was disgusted!  What should I do?"

I am not sure what Ms. Landers suggested, but I would have said, "Don't barge in on him in the shower, lady!"   If you are not going to screw your husband, at least let him discretely take care of business.   The Internet is rife with listings from married men looking for a little something "on the side" from women - or other men.    The frequency would startle you.   Yea, that could be your husband - or Dad - or even Grandad (or son or nephew) who has that listing on Craigslist.   It happens, get over it.   Getting hung up on sex is a sure way to fritter away your life.

But beyond cheating on the wife and perverted sex practices, how does understanding the sex-loop help you understand your brain?

Well, the sex subroutine is also the foundation for a lot of the behavior patterns we follow - at least I believe so.   I have had a lot of opportunity to study men in my life, and I believe that sex drives them to do most of what they do in the world - and that is one reason women are considered a threat in mostly male-dominate occupations and pursuits.

Take Engineering, for example.   Seems pretty gender-neutral and not very sexy.  Or is it?  Almost all of mechanical engineering is taken up with penises and vaginas - from nuts and bolts to pistons and cylinders.   Take apart anything mechanical, and chances are, it can be viewed in this manner.   Even in civil engineering.   Doesn't the Hoover dam look like a giant snatch?   And don't get me started on tunnels.

Electrical Engineering?  No better.  Heck, the first telephone call made was a dirty phone call ("Watson!  Come here, I need you!")

Computer engineering is the worst, of course.   We talk about our hard and floppy discs, which need to be "inserted" or "mounted".   And the first thing we did with our dot-matrix LA-36 decwriters was figure out a way to print out playboy centerfolds.   Once networking was invented, the second message sent over the internet was an invitation to hook up for sex.   And smart phones?   It is all about texting - or sexting, as we call it these days - or hooking up on one of a number of "apps".

Thanks to the Internet, you can now find a chat group devoted to whatever particular form of perversion you are into - and realize you aren't alone in liking to wear furry costumes while having sex or in watching clown porn.

Or take sports.  So many games involve taking a ball or puck or other object and violating the opposing team's vagina-like goal.   And don't get me started on the homerotic experience in the locker room!

The military bears special mention.   In the military, it is all about S&M and discipline - as well as uniform fetishes.  Yes, a lot of people are "into" these sort of things as a sexual deviation.   Or is it a deviation at all?   Or are our brains programmed (at some subliminal level) to be assertive or passive (top or bottom) in a manner that allows an organization like the military to function?

The objections to women as a "threat" in the military were often poorly articulated.  And a threat they were - as many men could not understand how women (traditionally viewed as passive, penetrated roles) could fit into the sexual hierarchy of the top-down military command.  Turns out, women can be tops, too.   All you need is a strap-on, ladies!

Even who we define as "sexy" is part of our survival routine.   We generally look upon young men and women as being the epitome of sexual prowess and desirability.  We also have the urge to nurture the young (which probably drives many teachers).   For young women, these are the prime child-bearing years.   For young men, perhaps there are other factors involved.   Probably because if we didn't find them desirable, at some fundamental level, we would have killed them long ago (as competing for resources).   Bromance as we call it today, probably started a long, long time ago.   So our race has evolved to protect our young, rather than kill them.  The young 20-something male, who would ordinarily be a threat to the head cave-man, is instead, tolerated.   And older men - who can still reproduce - are viewed by some as "sexy" - while older women (past menopause) well, not so much.   Men age like fine wine, women age like milk.

What we find desirable in our species is directly linked to our sex drives.

Of course, when it comes to marketing, the ad men know that sex sells and unless you have been living under a rock for the last 50 years, you realize this.   Cars in the 1950's were given huge breast-like fenders and bumpers.  Cars were sold based on sex appeal, with the "muscle cars" having long, penis-like hoods and short scrotum-like trunks.  It wasn't very subtle.   And it was a styling thing (some European sports cars of the 1940's needed long hoods for their engines, but by the 1960's, this was not necessary - many "muscle cars" just had large blank areas ahead of the engine out front).

Ads for liquor, clothing, perfumes and the like all employ sexual images (Salma Hayek most famously appearing in a Campari ad campaign looking like a drugged Bill Cosby date).  The messages are not too subtle.  Drink our beer - get laid.  Drink our booze - get laid.  Wear our aftershave - get laid.   The common denominator is get laid.

So what does this all mean?  Well, I think it means that if you want to understand your own motivations, desires, and actions, you need to understand how sex underlies most of your motivations in life, and just get over it and not make a fuss about it.

A lot of people, on the other hand, tend to think emotionally, particularly when it comes to sex.  "My husband was banging his secretary, so I am going to divorce him! The cheating bastard!"   And her girlfriends nod in acquiesce.   Of course, of the three girlfriends she is talking to, one has a cheating husband who hasn't been caught (yet, and they all want to be caught), another just doesn't give a damn, and the third belongs to a "swinger's club" with her husband, and was hoping to recruit one of the other three for a four-way.  Act shocked.   But it is true - a lot of people out there are having sex and enjoying it and not getting hung up over it.

From a logical point of view, divorcing your husband (or wife) over sex is a very costly affair - in terms of financial losses to both of you, as well as damage to your children's upbringing and their future.

In other countries, this is not viewed the same way.   In France and Italy, a successful man is expected to have at least one mistress - and the smart wife realizes that divorcing the husband is only giving him more power.

Of course, these are personal things, and some folks, raised on strict beliefs cannot fathom anything else.  Even while everyone all around them is "doing it" they still see the world in simple black-and-white terms.

I have to say that when I was younger, I was sort of the same way - naive.   I believed that sex was something "other people did" and anything other than "normal" sex was something only one or two perverts in Greenwich Village or San Francisco did.   By my teenage estimation, there was maybe 20 perverts in the country and everyone else was "normal."

Little did I know that even the small town I grew up in was rife with wife-swapping, illicit affairs, and all sorts of nooky and goings on - among people of all ages.   My kindly old math teacher, who seemed like the most asexual person in the world I could think of, turns out to have been living with another woman.  And it wasn't just to split the rent.

Sex is another one of those stories - like the Easter Bunny or Santa - that turns out to be false.   And guess who sells us this false story?   Bingo - the religions of the world.  Why?  POWER!   When you can get people to feel ashamed about the most basic urge their body has (besides breathing) you can control them to the nth degree.

"Well, Mrs. Jones, it sure would be nice if you could go to heaven, but since you are such a slut, I'm afraid it is the lake of eternal fire for you.  Unless of course, you pray every day for forgiveness and tithe 10% of your income to the church!   Say, is that your son?  Has he thought of becoming an altar boy?"

Oh, don't get me started on that.  Religion has a lot to apologize for when it comes to sex and its attitudes toward sex.

Oddly enough, the positions that religious people assume when praying also mimic those when performing some sex acts.   Ever notice that Catholics get down on their knees to pray?   And Islamics like to bend over?   I'll just let you fill in the rest there.   Arab men, well they like their sodomy, that's for sure!   Of course, none of them practice it, as it is against their religion.   Sure.  And Catholics don't like blowjobs.

Sex is what it is. Get over it.   The sooner you do, the easier your life will be.

UPDATE:  Google has flagged this blog entry as "inappropriate" and threatens to cut off my paltry income from this blog (less than $200 a month):

Hello,

This is a warning message to alert you that there is action required to bring your AdSense account into compliance with our AdSense program policies. We’ve provided additional details below, along with the actions to be taken on your part.

Affected website: livingstingy.blogspot.com

Example page where violation occurred: http://livingstingy.blogspot.in/2014/12/the-sex-routine.html

Action required: Please make changes immediately to your site to follow AdSense program policies.

Current account status: Active

Violation explanation

​

As stated in our program policies, we may not show Google ads on pages with content that is sexually suggestive or intended to sexually arouse. This includes, but is not limited to:

• pornographic images, videos, or games
• sexually gratifying text, images, audio, or video

Google ads may not be placed on adult or mature content. This includes fetish content as well as sites that promote, sell or discuss sexual aids. Examples include, but are not limited to:

• sexual fixations or practices that may be considered unconventional
• sexual aids or enhancement tools such as vibrators, dildos, lubes, sex games, inflatable toys
• penis and breast enlargement tools

For more information about keeping your content family-safe, please review our program guidelines and these tips from the policy team.

Additionally, you can watch our short animated video & policy refreshers on this topic.

How to resolve:

• If you received a notification in regard to page content, we request that you immediately remove Google ads from the violating pages. If you are unable to, or unsure of how to remove the ads from these pages, or would like to continue monetizing the page with Google ads, please modify or remove the violating content to meet our AdSense policies.
• If you received a notification in regards to the way ads are implemented on your site, please make the necessary changes to your implementation.

You do not need to contact us if you make changes. Please be aware that if additional violations are accrued, ad serving may be disabled to the website listed above. You should immediately take time to review your pages with Google ads to ensure that they comply with our policies.

Additionally, please be aware that the URL above is just an example and that the same violations may exist on other pages of this website or other sites that you own. To reduce the likelihood of future warnings from us, we suggest that you review all your sites for compliance. Here are some useful resources you might be interested in.

• AdSense policy FAQs
• Using site: search to find violations
• Recommended solutions for policing your content
• Content filtering

For more information regarding our policy warning notifications, visit our Help Center.

We thank you in advance for your cooperation.

Sincerely,

The Google AdSense Team

Sorry, but I ain't changing a thing!  This is hardly an X-rated page.

Review of Spending, 2016 - Scary Stuff!

Logging all expenses allows you to produce a chart of where your spending went, which can be a bit disappointing but illuminating.

Where does all the money go?   That is the question everyone asks.  Until you log your purchases, you'll never know.

I just reviewed my 2016 spending.  Since my logging isn't perfect, I had to go through and re-categorize some entries.  For example, some car repairs and gasoline charges were under "auto- misc" instead of the subcategories.  This logging doesn't include cash purchases, but we try to use as little cash as possible, taking out an average of $150 a month from the ATM (again, this is logged).

Some things are not accurately logged in the correct category.  For example, I have a separate category for "Liquor" and "Pets" - but liquor (including beer and wine) bought at the grocery store, as well as pet food, is logged under "groceries."   Nevertheless, these two entries were rather enlightening!

What was really scary was that the largest category was in home repairs and upgrades.    If you add in all housing costs, including insurance, taxes, utilities and repairs, it is the single largest category of spending.   Indeed, even home repairs was larger than any other category - although we did do a lot of upgrades last year, including a new split system A/C unit for the garage/laundry room and a new sidewalk and driveway repair, as well as some plumbing issues.   Housing is expensive - even when it is paid for entirely!  Big box home improvement stores are evil.

So.... where DID all the money go?  Let's take a look.   My situation may be unique (indeed, everyone's is).   Some folks spend a lot more on housing, others on medical expenses.  Still others on cars (as I used to do).   But it does show me where I can trim the budget a bit.

1.  HOUSING:

Maintenance and Repairs: $12,284.69

Taxes: $3342.67

Utilities: $3117.23

Insurance: $2692.56 

Lot Rent:  $290.00

Umbrella Insurance:  $191.00

TOTAL:  $21,918.15  ($1800 a month with no mortgage!)

NOTES: Utilities includes electric, water, sewer, and trash fees.   Taxes includes fire fee.  Maintenance and repairs is the big item here, as we made several major improvements to the house this year and hope to do a few more next year.   All those little trips to Lowes and Home Depot also add up as well.  A plant here, some edging there, you end up spending a lot of money.  Renters take note, owning a home is not cheap!

The replacement windows, however, are paying for themselves in terms of lower utilities, saving an average of $100 a month in electricity.

2.  FOOD & BEVERAGE:

1.  Groceries: $7836.40

2.  Liquor: $4519.19

3.  Meals (Restaurant): $6990.39

TOTAL: $19,345.98

NOTES:  Now you know why I am skeptical that you can "live" on $7000 a year as some online "financial gurus" claim.   That doesn't even cover a food budget for two people!   If you cut out all restaurant meals, all beer, wine, and liquor, all pet food, you could get this down to under $5000 for a couple, I expect, but it is pretty hard to get it down less than that, unless you want to eat nothing but raman noodles and huge bags of rice (BTDT!).  We want to live, not live like monks.  The point of this blog is how to live better on less.  Living on less is easy to do - just starve.

This is still an area for potential savings.   Less beer, less wine.  Since we are no longer buying pet food, there should be savings there as well.  Those Mormons and Baptists obviously save a lot of money in the liquor department, but then again, tithing and that funny underwear probably offsets this cost.  Better to tithe to the liquor store - less hypocrisy.

3.  MEDICAL:

Health Insurance:  $13,206.00 (Thank you President Obama!)

Prescriptions:  42.00

Other: $1,337.90

TOTAL:  $14,585.90

NOTES:  Last year, we were not on Obamacare, so this is a one-year anomaly.  This year, on Obamacare, our medical insurance will cost about $250, so our costs here will drop dramatically to under $2000 a year.  Since we are fairly healthy, our medical costs are lower than average.  Under Trumpcare, costs will likely rise back up to $6000 a year or more, perhaps even more than Obamacare!

Thank you President Trump!  For nothing!

4.  TRAVEL & ENTERTAINMENT:

Lodging: $8966.36

Entertainment:  $1289.04

Travel:  197.14

TOTAL:  $10,452.54

NOTES:  We do travel by RV several months of the year.  It can be expensive in terms of gasoline (which is not listed under this category) and RV park fees, which can be $50 to $100 a night.  State parks are far cheaper, and we need to spend more time there or at cheaper places to stay (e.g., truck stop parking lot, if just for the night).

In 2017, we plan on a shorter summer holiday, but in 2018 we plan on going to Alaska, which will cost a lot more.  We also would like to take a transitioning cruise, maybe in 2019 and spending a month in Europe, if they are still letting Americans in at that point.   The entire point of retiring early was to travel while we are still young and ambulatory.   However, there are ways to travel cheaply, and considering how many months we travel, this is pretty reasonable.

5.  AUTOMOBILE:

Gasoline:  $2499.54

Repairs:  $2953.11

Tolls, Registration, Parking:  $228.64

Car Insurance: $833.80

TOTAL: $6515.09

NOTE:  This does not include the largest "expense" of car ownership, depreciation.  Combined, both cars depreciated a total of about $5000 this year, assuming a 50% depreciation every five years.

The Repairs section also includes about $1500 for the golf cart "buggy".   We put new tires and battery and serpentine belt on the truck this year, and also had the transmission fluid changed.  The remainder of repairs is just oil changes.   Down the road, the repair cost will indeed increase.

Gasoline includes gas for travel on vacation. Total miles driven, annually, for both cars, is only about 15,000 total.  Our insurance is also very low (Thank you, GEICO!) so our expenses are far below average.

We could save money by going to one car, which someday maybe we will do.

6.  OTHER: 

Clothing:  $1304.82

Pets: $543 (vet bills)

Miscellaneous: $1299.22

Dues and Subscriptions:  $728.84 

Telephone:  $938.62

ATM Cash: $1800.00

TOTAL: $6,614.50

NOTES:   The clothing amount was more than we expected.   We buy souvenir t-shirts, the occasional jacket, and Mark's No. 1 vice - HATS.   A good hat can cost more than $100, sometimes much more! At this point in our lives, we have too much clothing and are giving away large amounts to charity.  We could spend less here, particularly in the hat department.

Old Joke:

SHE: "Whenever I'm down in the dumps, I get a new hat!"

HE:  So that's where you get them!

No more $100 hats!

Dues and subscriptions should drop for 2017 as well, as we dropped our Pandora subscription (didn't use it enough to warrant $4.99 a month) and our subscription to the New York Times (you can read that for free on MSN half the time anyway).

* * * 

So, what to make of all of this?   The amount we spend is scary.  Overall, we spent $79,432.16 which is far more than I intended to spend - nearly 5% of my net worth!  At this rate, we will run out of money in 30 years or so, although eventually we will qualify for social security which will help, and some expenses will no doubt drop, as we downsize our housing, cars, and travel expenses as we age.  A part-time job might also offset spending, and that is an option.

And that is part of the game, I guess.  You do want to spend it all before you die.  Because if you become infirm with a million dollars in the bank, Medicaid will say "thank you" and empty that bank account if you have to go into assisted living.

The home repair thing really shocked me, quite frankly.   All those little "home improvement" projects add up, and now I understand why old people let their homes fall down around them.   They don't want to spend the money and who cares if it is out-of-date?   By the time they sell, they don't really give a damn, and the new owner will renovate anyway.

We were planning on replacing the contractor-grade carpeting in the bedrooms with engineered hardwood, doing the work ourselves.   We'll see - it would be cheaper than hiring a carpeting company.  We could delay the project for another year, though, and just live with crappy carpeting.  The house needs to be painted (inside) after nearly a decade - the colors are outdated and there are scuff marks in places.

We will have to budget for a new air conditioner, new hot water heater, new washer and dryer and new stove, dishwasher, and refrigerator, as all of them are over 10 years old and will start to fail in the next 5-10 years.   That could keep the old home repair category topping the list for years to come.

NOW you see why I am against $1500 washing machines and $2000 refrigerators.   Houses are expensive enough as it is, without spending extra to make them look fancy.

To all you renters out there, whose housing expense has one line, "Rent", consider how lucky you are.   When something breaks, the landlord pays for it!   Owning a home is no special treat.

If we take away the Obamacare cost ($13,000) the cost of PETS (vet bills and food, about $1000), trim back the hat spending and HOME REPAIRS, as well as restaurant meals and liquor, we should be able to cut back our spending to about $50,000 a year, which is the median income in the United States.

That will be our goal for next year.  Let's see if we can reach it.

UPDATE:   According to this Fidelity "Retiree Test" we are actually on track and my unexpected results are in fact, expected.   The test says you should spend no more than 5% per year in retirement (check) have enough money to live to age 87 (check), you should have saved ten times your highest salary (check) and that housing costs will be your greatest expense (check, check, check!).

Nevertheless, we will look for ways to trim the budget in the coming year.