Saturday, February 12, 2022

MTG to Marry AOC in Lesbian Ceremony!

Politics makes for strange bedfellows!

(Washington DC) - Radical representatives Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Marjorie Taylor Greene have announced their intentions to get married in a Lesbian wedding ceremony.  The unlikely match seemed bizarre to some, but as Ms. MTG explained it, "I thought we had nothing in common, until I realized we both wanted to destroy the United States of America!"

"For sure!" Ms. AOC chimed in, "I thought we were politcal adversaries, until I realized we both wanted to overthrow the existing power structure and replace it with a dictatorship!"

"We have so much in common," Ms. MTG explained, "I want to ban books and tell people what they can't read..."

"...and I want to tell people what they have to read!" Ms. AOC added, completing her love partner's sentence.  Both women giggled at that intimate moment and squeezed each others' hands.

The two women said they have so much else in common.  "We both pine for impossible and impractical solutions to trivial problems - or problems that only exist in our minds!" Ms. Ocasio-Cortez noted.  "Yea, for sure," Ms. Green interjected, "Abolishing student loan debt makes about as much sense as banning Critical Race Theory - it is just grandstanding to get attention!  Once we realized that neither of us had any commitment to anything other than accumulating and wielding power, our differences seemed pretty trivial!"

When asked when they realized they had romantic feelings for one another, Ms. AOC stated, "Well, I've always enjoyed saying outrageous things to get attention.  At first, Margie was annoying to me, as she was hogging all my limelight.  But I admire women who aren't afraid to wield power and speak their mind.  Our eyes met across the floor of the House, and, well, it was Kismet!"

"Kismet?  That's not a Jewish thing, is it?" Ms. Green asked.  Alexandria shook her head no.

Nuptials are planned for this June, in a private ceremony with friends and political supporters.

Such marriages between political opposites are not unknown in Washington. Most famously, James Carville, a Democratic political operative, as been married for decades to Republican consultant Mary Matalin, with no apparent repercussions.  "You can make it work, if you put your mind to it," Mr. Carville noted, when contacted for comment.  "You just have to leave the politics at the bedroom door and realize the real enemy isn't the opposing party, but the American people themselves.  The name of the game is to bamboozle and distract - both parties have that in common.  In fact, they pretty much are indistinguishable from one another, if you think about it."

When the newly engaged couple was asked who was the "butch" in their relationship, both Ms/ Green and Ms.Ocasio-Cortez simultaneously replied, "She is!"

P.S. - I hear the wedding reception will also be very simple. They'll be serving just gazpacho.