Thursday, January 15, 2015

Suicide Brony

Killing yourself doesn't resolve any issues, nor will it get people to change their minds.
Living well - and long - is the best revenge.

Two recent articles in the news highlight the fact that bullying isn't going away anytime soon, and that a lot of young people are attempting - and sometimes succeeding - in killing themselves.   According to some sources, there has been a 55% increase in suicide attempts by teens in the last decade alone:

"Serious suicide attempts among middle-school-aged youth have risen 55% in the last decade, CDC data show. They landed more than 24,500 children ages 10-14 in U.S. emergency rooms in 2012 alone."

What is going on here?

Well, to be sure, part of the rise is statistics may be a result of greater awareness.   In many cases in the past, suicide attempts or actual suicides were covered up by loved ones, as they felt there was shame attached to this.   Today, however, people are looking for answers, and perhaps blaming bullies is part of this trend.   Rather than remain silent, people speak out.  And this is probably a good thing.

(Perhaps, too, this game of asphyxia, where youngsters masturbate with a noose around their necks, is claiming some lives as well - although that is probably a small minority, or is it?)

A decade ago, a friend of mine reported that her close friend had died of "an accidental drug overdose".    Her friend had taken an entire bottle of prescription sleeping pills and died.   To me, this seems like an obvious suicide, but my friend was insistent that it was an "accidental overdose".

She is an otherwise rational person - why was she in such denial over her friend's death?   Well, grief is part of it, to be sure.  And an "accident" is certainly more comforting that someone being so despondent they want to end it all.

So maybe under-reporting is the reason for the sudden rise in statistics.

Whenever someone commits suicide, most of us (who care) think, "Gee, I wish I could have been there to so something or say something, so this wouldn't have happened!"   When Robin Williams died, at his own hand, I am sure I was not the only one to think, "Gee, I wish someone could have been there to intervene and prevent this from happening!"

But that is a fantasy, of course.   You can't save people from themselves.   And you can't go back in time.   And when people have serious problems with depression, well, saying "cheer up, old friend!" isn't going to deter them.

And it is funny, because the second emotion you have is anger.   Like, "Fuck you, Robin Williams!  How can you do this to us?"   And we get angry because if a funny man like Robin Williams offs himself, then what does that say about life on the planet we live on?   It just ticks you off.

But eventually, you get to the acceptance part - at least those of us who are bystanders do.  And eventually we forget about the Robin Williamses of the world and move on with life.   For family members, well, the scars can last a lifetime.  If you really want to fuck up your family good, then kill yourself.  But then again, they may not care a bit.  It has been known to happen.  I suggest that you really piss them off by living a long life - and living well.   It is the best revenge, you know.

Is suicide the answer?  I dunno.  What was the question again?

I suppose if you have terminal cancer and are in horrific pain, then maybe that is an option.   In all other cases, well, it is just being dramatic and wasteful.

Is killing yourself a way to "send a message" or just a stupid way to let the bullies win?

In another recent news article, a transgender teen killed themselves to make a point about how their parents and church wouldn't accept them.   Yes, it is tragic when your parents don't like you.  Get in line.   But the thing to remember is that in a few short years, you won't have to see them ever again.   So why kill yourself?  Just wait a few years - and then leave for good.

And your church?   Go to another church, it is a simple as that.  Or none at all.   Expecting "acceptance" from a bunch of evangelical idiots is just unrealistic.  It isn't going to happen, and not only that, they are not going to feel bad - not one bit - about you killing yourself.  In fact, they will use your suicide to say, "See, I told you so, those people are just mentally imbalanced and sick!   We tried to save him with the word of Jesus Christ, and now he's going to hell!" - that is how they think.

Better off to just skip church, buy yourself a new dress and just look fabulous.   Killing yourself?  What a waste of a young life!  And such a pretty one, too.

If you are young and depressed and feel the world is ganging up on you, relax.   We've all been there.  Killing yourself only lets the bullies win.   And let me tell you, the bullies of the world are sociopaths - and they won't weep at your funeral, but laugh at you, instead.   So why give them the satisfaction?

Plus, if you are in high school or just out of college, your life has really just begun.   Yea, I know, that bully in 3rd period Social Studies seems like an insurmountable problem - right now.   30 years from now, you won't even remember his name.   And if you don't give in to the likes of him, well, you'll end up owning the company he works for, or holding the mortgage on his house.

That's how these bullying deals work.  You rarely see smart, empowered people as bullies.   The stereotypical bully is a powerless person - they are not doing well in school, even if they are popular with some of the teachers.  They probably are beaten or beaten down by their own parents and siblings.   The only thing they have is physical strength - or strength in numbers, if they are a group.   So they heckle and bully people they perceive as doing better than they.   They hate creative people, smart people, people who are "different" or people who are more caring.   They probably have a horrific home life and are beaten by their own parents.   So they take it out on someone they see as vulnerable and an easy target.

But you see, in four short years, high school becomes a rapidly fading memory.   The bully in high school goes off to his minimum-wage job, and you go off to college and success.   Unless of course you do something dumb like kill yourself - and let him win the game.

Yea, high school sucks.  Well, it should, anyway.  If the highlight of your life is four years spent at "Government School" then I really feel sorry for you.  Yet for so many folks, high school is the apogee of their lives.

Life goes on, it gets better -way better.   But you'll never realize this, if you kill yourself while in high school, just because some jerk who you will never see again for the rest of your life - in a few short years - makes you feel inadequate.

Get help.  Change schools.  Do something.  But don't give in.